To be very happy is to have experience much sadness. In fact, it isn’t possible to experience
true
happiness unless you have a true understanding of what it means to be
miserable. Knowing happiness is to only know one side of the coin;
knowing sadness means gaining a new appreciation for the whole thing,
entirely.
Knowing how deep of a hole
it’s possible to fall into only elevates you higher when you find
yourself on a mountain peak. And there is no better way to understand
the highs and lows of life than to know what it means to be in love.
To understand love is to
understand what it can do to you, how it can make you feel and how it
permanently changes a person. Love consumes your life and inevitably is
the deciding factor in living either a great or miserable life.
It isn’t possible to love without feeling the pain that must
accompany it. When you think about love and what it means to love a
person, you likely only consider all the good feelings, ignoring all the
bad. We like to imagine love as the pinnacle of happiness — but that
isn’t what love is.
Love isn’t just the good feelings we experience, but also the awful
ones. It’s the entire experience; it’s both the amazing and horrible
thing that makes being in love the most exciting and alive you’ll ever
feel.
You neither can nor should try to avoid the sadness of love. There is
always some loss associated with loving a person. You don’t want to own
them, but to fuse with them, become a part of each other – and because
you can never fully become one, you’ll always feel that there is a part
of them that you won’t truly know.
There is always a chance of losing them, if not now then somewhere
down the line. In fact, you are guaranteed to lose them sooner or later
as death has a nasty habit of cutting the ropes that bind two lovers
together.
If death alone is the only force that can separate the two of you
then consider yourselves blessed. Sadly, life itself and the decisions
we make along the way are often more than enough to mangle the love
between two individuals.
The truth is that relationships sometimes die – and the love that
once was goes along with them. Time changes people. People change
people. The love that you once had too often fades or burns up in a
blaze and the person that once meant the world to you is suddenly a
stranger.
More likely than not, that person no longer even exists. You may find
yourself still part of a relationship in which your partner has become a
stranger.
You may have spent the last few years together only to now have to
accept that the person you wake up next to every morning isn’t the
person you remember once waking up next to. They changed. You changed.
The lovers that once were no longer exist.
Finding out that the person you
loved is no longer the person you
love
is an incredibly frightening realization. The two of you, though living
in such close quarters, have managed to lose each other.
Now a decision needs to be made: Do you continue walking forward with
this person by your side or do you make a change? Do you find a way to
resuscitate that love or do you cut your losses and move on with your
life?
I feel that most people find themselves in a position in which the
person they once loved no longer exists.
Even if we don’t find ourselves
part of a relationship in which we lose our lover, we all look back and
realize that one or several of the people we once loved – that were
once a huge part of our lives and shaped the people we are now – we no
longer know.
Too many people, even those we at one point deemed to be very important to us, become strangers.
The thought alone is depressing. Love has to die for it to have any
value – just as we, ourselves, have to die in order to have importance.
You will one day look back with tears in your eyes at the shadows of the
people who made you, you.
The memories will fill your heart and then leave you with an
emptiness once reality kicks back in. You will feel sad. You will feel
pain, but smile: what you are experiencing once again is love.
These people may no longer be parts of your life. They may no longer
even exist, but the love still does – even if in a slightly different
form. Feel the pain that those memories bring and then turn the coin
over.
Source: http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/the-one-is-now-somebody-you-used-to-know/744519/
