The Best Part of my Job Was Never the Job

There is something about this photo that makes me smile.

Not because we all looked nice in our scrubs. Not because we finally found a few quiet minutes in the middle of another busy day.

But because this photo reminds me that every shift and every long day, these people became part of my life without asking for permission.

I never expected that somewhere in between, these familiar faces would become my friends. And these friends, would eventually become people I would struggle to leave behind.

Funny, isn't it?

Nobody tells you that one of the hardest parts of working abroad is not the workload. 

It's the people.

Because one day you'll wake up realizing you've memorized their abilities and personalities. You know who smiles even when they're exhausted. You know who says "I'm OK" when they're clearly not. You know who needs silence after a difficult patient, and who copes by making everyone laugh.

And I began carrying these little pieces of each other without even noticing.

I don't think people realize how much nurses rely on one another.

Patients often see one nurse.

What they don't see is the team standing quietly behind that nurse.

The one you thought was angry, when in reality, that's just the way she naturally speaks.

The one who notices you've skipped lunch and secretly saves you food.

The one who says "I've got this", when they see you're already overwhelmed. 

And the one who makes a terrible joke at exactly the right moment just to stop everyone from drowning in stress.

These things never appear in job descriptions, yet somehow, they're the things that matter most. 

Looking back, I honestly don't remember every difficult shift ever since I came here. The stress faded. Even the problems that once felt impossible eventually disappeared.

But the laughter?

I definitely remember that.

The random conversations while waiting for a patient. 

The teasing.

The birthday surprises.

 The photos taken in between responsibilities, or the moments when we laughed so hard we forgot how tired we were. 

Sometimes, I wonder if that's how God gently takes care of us. He doesn't always remove the difficult days. Instead, He places the right people beside us to help carry them.

Maybe that's why I believe the greatest blessings don't always arrive wrapped in miracles, but sometimes they arrive wearing blue scrubs.

And if there's one thing this journey has taught me, it's this:

People are temporary.

Shifts end.

Contracts expire.

Clinics or Hospitals change.

Countries change.

Life moves on.

But kindness has a strange way of outliving every goodbye. 

So if any of you are reading this...

Thank you.

Thank you for every laugh, every encouraging word, every shared burden, every silent prayer, and every ordinary moment that quietly became one of my favourite memories.

Because if people ask me what the best part of my job was...

It was never the job.

It was you.💖

And as I looked at this photo, I realized something. We weren't celebrating anything special. There was no grand occasion. It was just another ordinary day at work. And maybe that's what makes it so precious. 

I'm grateful that for a little while, God allowed our paths to cross. Thank you for becoming part of my story. I hope, somehow, I became a small and happy chapter in yours too.

Goodnight.🌻

The Mystery of First Impressions

It's always a mystery to me.

How is it possible to dislike someone you've never met before?

Someone you've never had a conversation with. Someone who's never done anything to you. Someone you've only seen from a distance, or perhaps for the very first time.

And on the other hand, how is it possible that you instantly don't like someone you've only just met?

I think about that more often than I should.

People always say, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Yet somehow, that's exactly what we do without even realising it. Sometimes all it takes is a face, a voice, the way someone walks into a room, or even the stories we've heard from other people. Before we know it, we've already written a version of them in our minds.

It's strange, isn't it?

How can we dislike a soul we've never taken the time to know?

What if they're actually kind? What if they're carrying burdens we know nothing about? What if they're praying for peace while we're quietly deciding we don't want them around?

I've experienced both sides.

I've had people dislike me before we ever exchanged a single word. I could feel it. The coldness. The distance. The assumptions. It used to bother me because I kept asking myself, "What did I do?" But eventually, I realised that sometimes...the answer is nothing

Not every opinion people have of us is something we created.

And if I'm being honest, there have also been moments when I caught myself doing the very same thing. Meeting someone and immediately feeling that we probably wouldn't get along. No reason. Just a feeling. Looking back, I wonder how many wonderful people I almost missed because I trusted my first impression more than I trusted the possibility that I could be wrong.

Maybe that's one of the quiet lessons of growing older.

Not everyone will like us. We won't naturally like everyone either. But perhaps we owe each other something simple. A chance.

A conversation.

A little grace before a conclusion.

Because sometimes the people we thought we'd never get along with become the ones who teach us the most. And sometimes, the people we instantly liked become the ones who hurt us the deepest.

Human beings are wonderfully complicated.

Maybe, maybe that's why first impressions should never be the final chapter.

Goodnight. 💛

God Knew Where I Belonged

Ever since I came to Qatar, I've been exposed to different cultures, different personalities, and different ways of life. One question people have asked me over and over again is, "Which country is better, Saudi Arabia or Qatar?"

Without hesitation, I always answer, Saudi Arabia.

People are often surprised by my answer, especially because I am currently working in Qatar. But I've never believed that choosing one country over another is about which one is richer or more modern. Sometimes, it's simply about where your heart found peace.

To be honest, coming to Qatar was never part of my long-term plan. Before I decided to work abroad again, I received several good offers from Saudi Arabia. They were better opportunities on paper.

So why did I choose Qatar?

Believe it or not, one of the biggest reasons was incredibly simple.

I had never flown with Qatar Airways.

Yes, that's really it.

Some people laughed when I told them that. Others thought I was joking. But it's the truth. I had always wanted to experience flying with Qatar Airways, and somehow that tiny curiosity became one of the reasons I accepted the job here. Funny how life-changing decisions can begin with something so small.

When I first arrived, I was assigned to a laser medical center and trained there for two weeks. At first, everything seemed fine. But then my migraines came back.

And when I say migraines, I don't mean an ordinary headache. 

They were the kind that made me feel like my head was going to explode. The pain became so unbearable that there were moments when I found myself pressing or even banging my head against the wall, hoping the pain would somehow ease. It wasn't an exaggeration. It was my reality.

I spoke to my boss about what I was going through, and thankfully, I was transferred to a polyclinic in Lusail.

The workload was lighter, and I thought maybe everything would finally fall into place.

But sometimes, the real challenge is not the work. 

It's the people.

As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, little by little, people's true colors began to show. The workplace became emotionally exhausting. There were many nights when I wanted to write my resignation letter and walk away for good.

The only reason I stayed was because they kept telling me there would be no one to replace me if I left.

Looking back now, I don't think staying was about the job anymore.

It was where God wanted to grow my faith.

During those difficult days, my prayers changed. I stopped asking God to make my life easier. Instead, I prayed for people.

I prayed, "Lord please don't let anyone disrespect me or hurt me whether physically or emotionally. Give them peace in their hearts, and let them come to know that You are God. And if it is Your will, please Lord send me a new colleague. Anyone, as long as that person loves You. Someone I can talk to, someone who will encourage me, and someone who will never intentionally hurt me. Let this person be a reminder that kindness still exists, and that You never leave those who put their trust in You."

And little by little...

God answered every single prayer.

Not all at once, but one prayer at a time.

Eventually, the day came when it was finally time for me to leave that place.

It was bittersweet.

Not because I wanted to stay, but because that difficult season changed me forever.

My relationship with God will never be the same because of everything I experienced there. My faith became stronger. My prayers became deeper. I learned to depend on Him instead of my own strength.

Then God opened another door.

A better one.

Today, I can honestly say that I have finally found where I belong.

It wasn't luck. 

It wasn't perfect timing.

It was God's timing.

He chose this place for me.

He prepared it long before I ever knew it existed.

My new workplace has been one of His greatest gifts. I met genuinely kind people, people who make the atmosphere lighter and the days easier. I truly hope they see me as a friend too, because I already consider them mine. I treat people as sincerely as I know how, and I thank God that He surrounded me with people who remind me that goodness still exists.

For the first time in a long time, I genuinely love where I am.

And every day, my prayer is simple.

Lord, thank You for leading me exactly where You wanted me to be. Please keep me here as long as this is where I belong. And if I ever need to leave again, let it only be because You are leading me somewhere even better. Never let me go back to a place where I no longer belong.

Because sometimes, the greatest blessing isn't finding the perfect job.

It's finding the place where God intended you to grow.

Goodnight.💛

A Bibliophile's Quiet Little World

I have always been the kind of person who enjoys being alone.

Some people find silence uncomfortable. I find peace in it.

Being alone has never made me feel lonely. In fact, it's in those quiet moments that I feel the most like myself. I don't have to pretend to be entertaining or interesting. I can simply exist, breath, and listen to my own thoughts.

Maybe that's why I enjoy doing things that many people would call boring.

I read.

I honestly can't remember how my love for books began. There wasn't a specific day when I decided to become a reader. It's just happened so naturally that I never noticed when reading became a part of who I am. 

Over time, books stopped being just stories. They became places I could visit whenever life became too loud. 

Like whenever I'm stressed or emotionally exhausted, I don't usually look for an escape outside. Instead, I reach for my Bible. 

I open it, read a few chapters, and somehow my heart becomes lighter. The problems don't magically disappear, but they no longer feel impossible to carry. Every page reminds me that God is always in control, even when my thoughts are not.

That's one of the reasons I love reading.

Books have an incredible way of slowing us down. They teach us to listen instead of react, to imagine instead of assume, and to understand instead of judge.

There are things people don't usually notice about bibliophiles.

We're the ones who unconsciously walk toward the bookshelf before anything else. We smell old books without realizing it. We become emotionally attached to fictional characters who don't even know we exist. We postpone sleep by saying "Just one more chapter", knowing very well that one chapter will become five.

We can spend hours alone and never once think we're wasting time

Because for us, reading isn't an escape from reality.

It's a way of understanding it.

Every book leaves behind a small piece of itself. Some teach us courage. Others teach us kindness. Some break our hearts only to put them back together a few chapters later.

And then there's the Bible.

No matter how many times I read it, it never feels like the same book. Every season of life reveals a different lesson, a different promise, a different reminder that I didn't know I needed.

Perhaps that's why I'll always love reading.

Not because I wanna hide from the world, but because books have taught me how to live in it.

So if you ever see me sitting alone with a book in my hands, don't feel sorry for me.

I'm not lonely.

I'm simply spending time in one of my favorite places.

Goodnight.💤

The Greatest Book I Have Ever Finished

Today, marks one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. By the grace of God, I finally finished reading the entire Bible.

It still feels surreal. When I first began this journey last year, I was constantly tempted not to read it. There were days when I struggled just to open the Bible. There were moments when I wanted to stop and take a break. But God is faithful. He slowly removed every barrier that stood in my way and gave me the desire and strength to keep going, one chapter at a time, until reading a few chapters each day become part of my life.

Reading the Bible is not always easy. This book requires patience, there were chapters that are difficult to understand, and there were days when your heart simply isn't in the right place. But through prayer, the guidance of faithful disciples, and a sincere desire to know what God wants us to learn, every page becomes worthwhile.

I have never felt so accomplished as I did when I reached the very last chapter. I became emotional not because I was relieved that I had finished, but because I could hardly believe I had finally reached the end of a journey I had dreamt about since the day I started. 

I began reading through a Bible app, but somewhere along the way, I felt the desire to buy a physical Bible. Holding God's Word in my hands made the journey even more meaningful.

Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ, for the gift of perseverance. Thank You for carrying me through every distraction, every hardship, and every moment when I wanted to give up. 

There was one moment I will never forget. 

I was deeply discouraged after work. My heart was filled with anger and pain, so I went to a nearby park, sat alone on a bench, and cried out to God. I poured out everything I was carrying. Then I opened my Bible, and the very verse I needed was waiting for me.

"Dearly beloved, avenged not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." -Romans 12:19 (KJV)

The moment I read those words, I cried even harder. In that instant, I knew God had heard my desperate prayers. It was His gentle reminder that I didn't have to carry the burden of revenge or justice. He had already taken it into His hands.

Looking back now, I can honestly say that I am no longer the same person I was before I started reading the Bible.

God changed me.

He changed my heart, my thoughts, my perspective, and the way I see both people and life's hardships. Even those who have known me for years have noticed the difference. For the longest time, that was all I had been asking God for. To change me. and He did.

As I look back on everything that has happened in my life, I can now see His hand in every season. The prayers I thought went unanswered, the painful moments I never understood, the doors that closed, and the ones that opened, they were all unfolding according to His perfect plan. 

Again and again, God has saved me.

And today, as I close the final page of the Bible for the first time, I realize this is not the end of my journey with His Word.

It is only the beginning.

I'll Find My Words Again

I've been receiving quite a few emails lately from reader asking if I'm alright, especially since I've been unusually quiet over the past month. As many of you have noticed, I only published one article throughout June. To everyone who took the time to check on me, thank you. It means more than you know.

Yes, 'm okay.

The truth is, for the past few weeks, it has felt as though the writer in me simple went silent. I don't even know why. The inspiration I've always had just suddenly...disappeared.

Whenever I write, it usually begins with something that stirs my heart. Whether the experience I had lately, or a conversation I had with a friend, mostly verses, or even the smallest moment that refuses to leave my mind. But lately, there has been nothing. Just silence.

Perhaps that's one of the quiet weaknesses of being a writer. We cannot force genuine inspiration. We can sit in front of a blank page for hours, hoping words will come, but sometimes they simply don't.

There were moments when I even wondered if I still wanted to write anymore. I felt as though I had lost the courage, the drive, and the love for it.

Did something happen?

Honestly, I don't know how to answer that because I don't fully understand it myself.

What I do know is this. Seasons like these are temporary. They always have been.

One day, the words will return. So will the inspiration, and the courage, and the quiet excitement of sharing stories again. Until then, i will allow myself to rest without forcing what is not ready to be written.

Thank you for waiting. Thank you for caring enough to ask if I was okay. Your kindness reminded me that there are real people reading these words, and that alone gives me hope.

I'll be back.

And for sure, I'll find my words again.

Until then, keep the faith.

Respect Begets Respect

There was a time in my life when I thought respect had to be earned through achievements. I believed that if I poured enough goodness into people, respect would naturally come back to me.

Well, sometimes it did. Sometimes it didn't.

But as I grew older, I realized that respect is not about being the loudest person in the room, nor the most successful, nor the one who always wins the argument. Respect is often found in the smallest things. In the way we speak when we're angry, the way we listen when we disagree, or the way we treat people who can offer us nothing in return.

Respect is actually, a reflection of character.

I have met people with impressive titles who made others feel small. I have also met ordinary people with no position or authority who carried themselves such dignity that everyone around them naturally respected them.

Life has taught me that respect cannot be demanded. It can never be forced nor be threatened into existence. 

It's cultivated. It grows in conversations when people feel heard. In friendships where boundaries are honored. In marriages where both people choose kindness over pride. In families where words are spoken with gentleness instead of contempt. 

And perhaps most importantly, respect grows when we learn that every person is fighting battles we know nothing about.

There were so many moments when I was misunderstood. Even when my silence was mistaken for weakness and my kindness for permission to be treated carelessly. Those experiences hurt. A lot.. And they left questions in my heart.

On the other hand, they also taught me something valuable.

To NEVER ALLOW someone else's disrespect to change the kind of person you are.

Because the moment we return insult for insult, cruelty for cruelty, and disrespect for disrespect, then we become the very thing that wounded us.

The truth is simple. 

A respectful word can heal a wounded heart. It can also calm an angry spirit. Respect does not make us weak. It reveals our strength. 

And in a world where kindness is becoming rare and patience is growing thin, perhaps one of the greatest things we can offer another human being is simple respect.

Because respect has a way of returning home. Sooner or later, what we consistently give to others often finds its way back to us.

Respect begets respect.

And it is one of the purest forms of love. It asks for nothing, demands nothing, and yet it gives people something priceless. The feeling that they matter.

Good night.🌻

The Audience of One

I am almost at the end of my Bible reading journey, and to be honest, I thought I would quietly finish the remaining chapters without crying, or anything surprising happening. After all, I had already read so many verses, stories, and lessons along the way.

Then I came across Colossians 3:23

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men."

For some reason, those words struck my heart again.

Perhaps it is because I have spent so much of my life working hard. Like many people, I have had moments when I wondered if my efforts were being noticed. Moments when I felt exhausted from giving so much of myself, especially to work, to family, to friendships, and to responsibilities that seem endless.

There are days when appreciation is scarce. Days when the things we do go unnoticed, or when we quietly carry burdens without anyone realizing how heavy they are.

And there have been times when I felt discouraged because of that. 

But the verse gently reminded me of something I often forget. That not everything I do is meant to be seen by people. That not every act of kindness I do requires recognition. And that not every sacrifice I do needs applause. 

God never asked me to work for compliments. He never asked me to serve only when others are grateful. He never promise that people would always understand my intentions or appreciate my efforts.

He asked me to do everything wholeheartedly, as if I were doing it for Him.

That changed the way I see my daily life. It changed the way I approach my work when I am tired. It changed the way I treat people when kindness is not returned. It changed the way I handle responsibilities that nobody noticed.

Because if God is the ONE I am ultimately serving, then every effort has value.

Every long day, unseen sacrifice, prayer, and act of love, matter.

Reading this verse near the end of my Bible reading felt like receiving a quiet reminder from God at exactly the right time.

Faithfulness is not measured by how many people notice what we do.. It is measured by the heart with which we do it.

From this day forward, I choose to keep doing my best. Not for praise, or for recognition, and neither for approval.

But for the One who sees every unseen thing. 

And somehow, knowing that GOD sees it all, makes every effort worthwhile.

-Have a good day to you, all.💛

My Husband vs My Horror Movie Addiction

Even when I was still young, I had always been fond of watching horror movies. But when I was pregnant with Lee, I suddenly developed this strange obsession with horror movies. Not romance, or comedy, nor documentaries about healthy pregnancies.

No.

I wanted ghosts, haunted houses, and Thai horror movies with background music that could send your soul out of your body.

Every. Single. Night.

And my poor husband had absolutely no choice.

Now let me tell you something about this man.

He is the type of guy who falls asleep five minutes into a movie. Especially horror movies. He says they're "boring". Imagine calling a woman in white crawling from the ceiling boring.

But because I was pregnant, he tolerated all of it like a patient public servant assigned to a supernatural duty.

One night, we were watching another horror movie marathon. I was so determined to stay awake and finish the story. 

Five minutes later? I fell asleep.

Completely unconscious.

Then suddenly, I woke up in the middle of the movie. The screen was dark. Someone was screaming. There was probably a ghost dragging somebody down the hallway. I immediately pretended I had been awake the entire time.

I gasped dramatically and whispered, "wala na nakaon na siya sa ungo." 

My husband slowly looked at me. Straight into my soul. 

And said, "Pag sure. Natulog ra baya ka."

😆

Because this man. THIS MAN - watched the entire boring horror movie alone while I was peacefully snoring beside him like a retired farmer.

Honestly, at that point, my husband was no longer watching horror movies. He was babysitting a sleepy pregnant woman with supernatural interests.

Then one night, karma arrived.

I had the worst nightmare of my life.

In my dream, I was trapped walking down a never-ending spiral staircase. Everything was dark. I kept shouting for help, but nobody answered me. I could hear echoes, footsteps, whispers...typical horror movie package.

I woke up panicking.

My husband immediately woke up too and asked what happened. 

I explained my nightmare dramatically like I survived an actual haunting.

And this man, instead of comforting me emotionally like a normal husband, looked at me and said,

"Mao nani resulta sa sige nimog tan-aw ug horror movie."

😂😂😂

And you'd think after that traumatic nightmare, I would finally stop watching horror movies, right?

Wrong.

The very next day, I asked him again, "Tan-aw ta horror movie?"

He would just roll his eyes and once again...

I slept.

Completely.

And when I woke up?

This man was still watching the movie alone.

I genuinely believe my husband deserved an award. For surviving MY pregnancy cravings.

So WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS STORY?

Because love is not always grand gestures, expensive gifts, or dramatic movie moments. Sometimes love is a tired man staying awake through a horrible horror movie because his pregnant wife wanted to watch it. Sometimes love is hearing someone ask for another horror movie after getting traumatize by nightmares.

And somehow...still saying YES.

So please, don't settle for less.

Choose someone kind. Someone patient. Someone who can laugh with you. Someone willing to stay, even during your weirdest phases.

And pray for it.

Because the right person will not only love you during you best moments. 

They will also sit through terrible Thai horror movies while you snore beside them.

My 109

 "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" - Mark 10:9 (KJV)

Love can still be sacred in a world that changes so quickly. 

In today's world, relationships are often treated lightly. People leave when things become difficult. Love becomes conditional. Commitment becomes fragile. Yet this scripture reminds me that real love is not built only during easy seasons. It is tested during misunderstandings, silence, sacrifice, waiting, and pain. Unity requires patience, humility, forgiveness, and grace.

My husband is my 109.

Not because our marriage is perfect. Not because we never disagree or become tired from life's heavy seasons. But because every single day, we choose each other again.

And perhaps that is what real love truly is. Two imperfect people learning how to remain gentle with one another despite the chaos of life.

Marriage is beautiful when both people protect it quietly behind closed doors. When they choose understanding instead of harsh words. When they forgive even while hurting. When they remain loyal not only during abundance, but also during silent battles nobody else sees.

Mark 10:9 carries a deeper emotional truth that many people forget today: love is not merely a feeling. It's a responsibility. A commitment. It's patience during misunderstandings, softness during anger, and faithfulness during uncertain seasons.

The real unity is not tested during happy moments, but during exhaustion, sacrifice, waiting, distance, disappointment, and of course, PAIN. But despite all these things, choosing to stay kind to one another becomes one of the purest forms of love.

Also, this verse should never be used to trap someone in abuse or fear. God values peace, dignity and safety too. The heart of this scripture is about honoring genuine covenant and protecting what is pure, respectful, and God-centered.

But sometimes, the saddest thing is not when two people apart. The saddest thing is watching something once beautiful slowly break because people stopped protecting it. 

Love does not usually disappear in one day. It fades in neglected conversations. In pride left unresolved. In affection no longer expressed. And in kindness slowly forgotten.

That is why protecting your marriage matters.

Because in a world where many things fall apart so easily, there is still something incredibly beautiful about two people who continue choosing each other over and over again. 

And as long as God remains at the centre of your relationship, nothing else matters. God believes in things worth keeping together.

I truly hope you find your 109. 💖💛

Jaded

Even when I was young, people already called me a strong, independent woman. Back then, I wore those words like a shiny medal pinned proudly on my chest. And I had one dream. To work abroad, earn my own money, and build a life beyond the tiny corners of the world I grew up in.

And eventually, that dream came true.

At twenty-five, I left the Philippines and stepped into the unfamiliar life of an overseas Filipino worker. And from that moment on, I never really stopped leaving home.

I learned how to survive in foreign countries where even grocery shopping felt like a mission impossible. I learned how to smile politely at people whose language I didn't understand. I learned how to eat eggs and sometimes instant noodles for three straight days while waiting for salary day. I learned how to cry silently in a shared room because homesickness is embarrassing when everyone around you is also homesick.

Saudi Arabia became my training ground. It taught me discipline, patience, and how to survive under forty-eight degree heat without turning into grilled barbecue. (Actually, I had history of heat-stroke, ^_^)

Then, barely a year after leaving Saudi, life threw another opportunity my way, and I found myself packing my bags again. This time for Qatar.

At some point, airports started feeling more familiar than my own hometown. 

I became the kind of person who could identify terminals faster than tourist spots. I mastered the art of converting currencies in my head while mentally calculating how much remittance I could still send home. My camera roll slowly transformed into screenshots of remittances, exchange rates, random sunsets, and photos of food I could not pronounce.

And yes, living in the Middle East gave me experiences I never imagined I would have. I met people from different cultures, heard stories from every corner of the world, and realized that loneliness sounds the same in every language.

But somewhere along the way, exhaustion quietly moved in beside me.

No. Not the kind of exhaustion that can be fixed with sleep. 

The deeper kind, I mean. The one that settles into your bones after years of constantly starting over. The kind where you become tired of pretending you are okay every time someone says, "Swerte kaayo ka kay naka abroad ka."

Because the truth is, working abroad is beautiful... but it also painfully lonely.

People only see the travel photos, the shopping bags, the carefully filtered instagram stories. What they do not see are the birthdays missed, the funerals attended through video calls, the heartbreaks endured alone in a tiny room. They do not see how OFWs learn to celebrate Christmas with strangers while pretending not to miss home too much.

And now that I am getting older, with a family of my own, I realize something.

That maybe, I have already lived my life to the fullest.

I have wandered enough airports. I have survived enough goodbyes. I have worked enough overtime shifts to know that money can buy comfort, but never stolen time. 

I have spent years chasing a dream only to discover that dreams can also make you tired.

And perhaps that is why lately, I feel jaded.

Not ungrateful of course. Never that. 

Just...tired.

I am already tired of constantly being strong. Tired of acting independent all the time. And tired of carrying everyone's expectations as though I was born without limits.

Because people often forget that strong women also get exhausted. We get homesick. We get lonely. We get burnt out from always being the reliable one. Sometimes we also want someone to tell us, "Pwede naka pahulay.." T___T

These days, my definition of happiness has changed.

It is no longer about collecting passport stamps or proving that I can survive alone anywhere in the world. Sometimes happiness now sounds like eating dinner peacefully with family. Sleeping without setting five alarms for work. Laughing without checking the exchange rate first.

Funny how life works.

When I was younger, I thought freedom meant leaving home.

Now, I think freedom might actually mean finally finding my way back to it.

I guess that's it for tonight. I can't hold back my tears anymore. I still have work tomorrow, and I can't afford to show up with swollen eyes.

And to anyone out there fighting silent battles too, I hope tomorrow feels a little lighter for all of us.

Goodnight.