Fighting Chances

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. 

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

                                                                  -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Everybody deserves a second chance. When you fathom what true love is, forgiveness unfolds. 

He has hurt me so bad that came to a point of loosing myself. The feeling of betrayal and the miffed heart when you have given all your love and your best to be the best for him. That moment when you feel your heart has been stabbed a million times and even the strongest pain relievers couldn't take that pain away.

Five years on a long distance relationship has never been easy. You might think it's crazy or stupid or a lie to have a relationship with someone, you have never met for real. Only video chats and pictures are the only things that kept your relationship alive and having the hope you will be on each other's arms someday. 

But when problems and trials strike the both of you, there you can say destiny always has its way of testing this so called unbreakable bond.

I called it "the silent break up" when he started not talking to me, deactivating all the social media accounts - (on where our only place we could communicate) just two months before our sixth year anniversary. I almost got crazy that time. Always on denial and that I am just dreaming, that he is just busy or whatever. I communicated all his friends and even thought of following him there. But it seemed that the odds has never in my favor. 

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression and Acceptance.

It took me a year to finally accept the fact that we are really over. That he chooses to stay away and cherry-picked the days/months relationship over the five years. 

But what always hurts me the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.

Two years after, August 30th on a rainy day, he sent a message and asked If I could talk to him even for just a minute. He sent me a link and  found out that the woman on the picture was the woman he had a relationship married to a different man. 

At first I thought "So what? As if I care.." 

But the long lost love you have for someone can change everything you ever thought you knew about yourself.

Something happened that I couldn't explain when I decided to hear the side story. But it's private so I'll just left you with the thought that he never really left. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

There's always been a special level of comfort between two matching souls. An unbreakable bond of constant support and closeness. It's when a warm embrace feels so right or when two hands fit so snugly. It's a feeling that's hard to define but easy to recognize. And when you find that comfort, you'll just know, you'll never let go. Everybody in this world is scared and sometimes, it takes two scared people to do one brave thing. To fall in love.

Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success  of the future. 

Being with him again is scary yet the happiest. They say love is sweeter the second time around. And this time, I believe. It will be forever.