To Marianne

Dear Marianne, 

I kept thinking for the past years on how we became friends. I thought of you as my sister, best friend and the one I trust most. But I never thought that that day would be the biggest mistake of my life. 

We knew each other since we were on the 5th grade. But we never got the chance to knew each other because we both have different circle of friends. Until after a year, we were the only students in our section who were transferred to the higher level. And since we both are new, conceivably we automatically became friends. 

But as time goes by, I noticed that you've changed since you became friends with others. I know, people change and that's the only constant in this world. But it wasn't right to tell them the secrets that we have shared to anyone. That's what a friend right? And when I asked you what's wrong, you had the most lenient face ever telling me there's nothing wrong. 

During our retreat. we were asked to write a letter to anyone who you dislike most and should asked for forgiveness. You were so happy that you never got a letter. But then I was surprise when you gave me one. I was thinking what did i do to you to make you feel that way. And then I realized, you have been sculpturesque the whole time when I thought you were my friend. After the retreat it got worst. You tore me apart leaving me breathless and alone. I had never been depressed in my life. Everyday before we go home from school you always leave a message in the board, saying I am the ugliest in the room. I knew its you. I know your handwriting. Every morning at school, during cleaning time, you never missed a moment of throwing a floor mop in my head which made me want to hit you back but then I realized that God is watching you and that Karma will soon take you. And then during our closing remarks, I almost fell at the stairs because you were pushing me and you were heaving my hair.

I lived my years with fear and darkness. There comes a time when I don't wanna go to school anymore because of you. All I could was cry.

And then at last, upon entering high school we finally separated ways. I thank God for that moment. But then, the bad memories that you have imparted in my life brooded. It took me a long time to feel comfortable around people again. Making friends was a difficult process.

You never knew the pain you've caused me. But I am older and stronger now. I can take care of my self. Now, I bound to realized that you have no joy. You are hurting and lonely inside that's why you wanted somebody to fathom the pain. And I did. And I feel sorry for you. 

No one should ever have experience those kind of feelings. 

They said, forgive and forget. But I may still have difficulties forgiving you. I just hope and pray that you someday can feel the same way and finally love and honor yourself.

Sincerely, 

Minjee