Wednesday, June 28, 2023

The Indication of a Wise


Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is classified as a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. 

You know, you don't have to open your mouth and dump out everything that's going on in your brain. You don't have to tell people everything you know. There are two sides of that calm thing. 

There's the people who stirs things up around you, but there's a time we go around, we tell tales, and we agitate. 

"Hey I heard this!" 

or

"I heard this."

or

"Did you hear this?"

and they're stirring things up.

Be that quiet person. Be that quiet person in the corner. You got something to say that's good, beneficial, helpful, or properly corrective at the proper mind, or proper time, then say it.

Otherwise, be wise.

Talking all the time about everything to everybody, that's not an indication of the wise.


CTTO

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Happy Birthday Self


Birthdays commemorate life in all its wonderful ways and make it more special. It reminds us that we are alive, and may have another year to live. What makes the celebration special is that it helps us appreciate what we have in life; God, Loved Ones, Families, Friends, and so on. 
 
So before this day ends, just wanted to say..
 
Thank you Lord for giving me such another year to celebrate life. I cant find the exact words to say but I guess I don’t need to coz you already know it.
 
For everyone who remembered and greeted, I can’t thank you all enough😭 THANK YOU!!! I must have done something right to deserve this grateful heart. Thank you
🥺
Daddy and Lee, my everything🥺😭 I cant wait to come home na. I love you. See you soon.
My family sa Gensan, My family sa Digos, thnk you coz you never fail to celebrate my birthday despite my absence. Huhuhu😭 ILOVEYOU.
 
Karen, Charlotte, Marnelie, Ate Czarina, Ate Reg X, Ate Reg J., Jessa, Ate Vicky, Ate Roshini, Patriz you may have NO IDEA of what you did but you filled my heart with joy and admiration. 
 
Okay so I guess that’s it. Kay I can’t hold back the tears na. 
 
Again, indeed a Happy birthday self🧡

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Dementors

 My problems are like dementors. They are all black, they glide into my life without an invitation, and they make my life in hell. 

"Expecto Patronum!" that's what Harry Potter said. But in order for him to produce that patronus charm, he has to think of what makes him happy. It's called the happy thought spell. 

I tried doing that in real life. But it seems like the effect is the other way around. More and more dementors come my way. 

 I have a lot of things in mind right now. Mostly disappointments. They say, we need disappointments and problems in our life for us to have the will to live. I duno. Tell me more about it. 

These disappointments and problems exist in my life right now, give me more strength and will to give up instead of holding up. I don't know what and how to solve them one by one.

Well, maybe postpartum is one to blame I guess. I didn't know it is this hard.

My heart fuckin aches right now while writing this message. I feel so alone again. I miss myself. I miss my old self.

God help me. I don't know how to survive this.

and today, I found out something awful. The person I thought could understand me, was the person who misunderstood me the most. It hurts because the feeling when you feel like everything is okay, but it was never okay. The kind of person you thought would always ask your side of the story but ends up judging you because of other's story. The person you respect and love. 

 Today, I found out that NO ONE understands what I truly feel. Trying to hold on. But it's getting heavier and heavier each day.

So help me God.

Thursday, November 17, 2022

When a Woman Goes Numb

                              I've Felt so Much, And Now I'm Numb

            One of the most frustrating emotions for a good woman is when she goes numb. Because one side of her has so much love to give and the other side of her is so used to not receiving the same love she has to give.

            So at the same time, she's emotional while she's also emotionless and she's fighting this constant battle to try to figure out why is she staying so loyal to a relationship that's not even giving her the bare minimum that she deserves but she's gotten numb to the point where she's okay with not receiving that love.

            Even though she craves that love so much, she's not getting it. And it's creating such a psychological pain inside her head that she's trying to figure out "should I walk" or "should I stay?" or "Will it make me look bad if I walk away?" or "should I stay and pretend that his love is okay?"

      ctto


Friday, November 04, 2022

Once Upon a Princess

    

    Being a royalty is one of every girl's dream. Once in our lives, especially when we were young, we live in a dream that we were some kind of a princess living in a palace where everyone loves you and you're being taken care of. 

    Well, I was once a Princess. Not literally of course, but I get to experience how being loved and taken good care of, by two young princes. I finally have the guts to write an extraordinary story that even I, myself, never ever thought it had happened in my life. Although I've been meaning to write this story ever since, but it took me more than a decade to finally decide. 


BewareThis is a long-form content so just read the story when you have time.


    I was a badminton player and Ate Anj would always invite me to play and practice badminton at their school. We met by accident in a badminton tournament in Tagum City where I defeated once their best player and she got so mad about it. 


   She was the first friend I had in the foreign city in the Badminton World way back 2008. She had these two young guy friends and didn't hesitate to introduce them to me even though it wasn't necessary. We were in a cafe and that was after badminton practice when I met these two young couple. 


Our trio story started because of her, and I never thought that that day, a new friendship was born. 


    The two young couple are both studying Engineering and are typically highly classified kind of guys because both are born with a silver spoon. The first one who approached me was the one who was kinda handsome and a naughty type kind of guy. He grabbed my hand and forcefully did a handshake. I can still remember his first uttered words. "Hi cutiepie, nice to meet you". The other guy just laughed and did the same gesture.


    It was time for me to go home so I asked Ate Anj if I can leave them behind coz I still have to travel for one and a half hour to get home. It was weird because the first guy who approached me earlier told Ate Anj that they can bring me home to Digos since they haven't really toured there. I looked at her and as if she had read my mind, she said, "Don't worry they are good guys". 


    I'm the kind of person who always had trust issues, so I declined. Even though Ate Anj assured me that they are good guys, come on, still I just met these two punks, so I headed home myself. I didn't know that declining their offer had a big impact in their lives.


    A week had passed, and I visited their school again to play and there I saw them again with Ate Anj looking at me like I was a television. After the practice, Ate Anj approached and asked me that these two guys wanted to be my friend and that they wanna know about me. I was dumbfounded and didn't know what to say but since she knows them, I said yes.


        That day I found out their names. The tall, kinda good looking and naughty type's name was R.D Aquino, "Dane" for short. While the other guy who was also good looking chinito, also tall, with white complexion and the silent type's name was O.Y. Gatchalian, "Yuri" for short. From that day on, they were never absent during badminton practice and even during tournaments. Ever.


    
We started hanging out after our tournament that was held in Tagum City. And I never thought that it's the start of my sickly sweet world. 


    I finally get to trust them because they have proven that they can be trusted. Indeed, they are good people. Never in my life that Ive felt loved and cared by 2 strangers, and now became MY friends. Who would have thought that these two guys will become part of my life?


    Days, weeks had passed, and we still kept exchanging messages even though it was impossible for me to come back and play badminton since It was already forbidden (my grades had sunken). I thought it was also the end of our friendship but surprisingly, they never stopped talking to me. Instead, they became more aggressive as months have passed. 


    Year 2009 when we started clinical rotation in Southern Philippines Medical Center (SPMC) but previously named as Regional Hospital. I found out that these two punks changed their careers from Engineering to Nursing. 


    Every friday before I leave Davao, we always see each other and eat somewhere, do road trips together and sometimes, watch movies. And! They always bring me to Digos themselves. 


    The friendship I had with them was underrated and I barely appreciate what they do to me until the day when I called Oliver to fetch me coz I got lost from taking a jeepney going to my boarding house and I got so scared. I dunno where I was headed and the jeepney driver refused to bring me back to the city. That time, both are having night classes. 


    A few minutes later, they were able to find me even though I never told them where I was. (because technically, I really didnt know where I was)


    I thank God these two guys were a blessing to me, and I never stopped appreciating them until then. But I found out that my phone has a tracker. No wonder they know where I was. 


    Later in December 2009, Dane called and asked me to go to a meeting place coz he had something to tell me. I didn't hesitate and never in my thoughts that there was something special coz literally I see them as brothers and let's say maybe I am love-numbed. 


    That night, he asked if I can be his girlfriend. I was kinda taken aback because I never thought he already had a special feeling for me. Yes. Call me whatever you want, numb, stupid or whatever but of course, I rejected. I don't have any special feelings for him. I only see him as a brother, and I have never failed to remind and show it every day.


     Bunch of flowers and chocolates and many other wonderful gifts had been given to me, but I am literally not a materialistic person. Maybe I have lived a life where everything is simple and whatever is given to me by my parents or my friends, that's just it. I'm really not used to these kind of love materials, but I just appreciate it. 


        Being friends with Dane is like a roller coaster. And I am scared of roller coasters. Ive never rode one coz I easily get dizzy, and I am scared of heights. Just like my relationship with him. For me we are friends and he's a brother but for him I am someone more important than his life. (I'm not exaggerating) but that's how I am to him. 


    He was becoming more possessive each day we meet. Every time we go somewhere to chill, his hands won't budge on my shoulders nor my hands. Every time I talk to someone I know, and he sees it, he gets mad to the person Im talking with. 


    I was literally a queen whenever Im with Dane. Everything I asked for will always be granted. But I didn't like it. 


    A year later, I never thought that the other guy did the same. More surprisingly, he kept his feelings for more than a year. That time, when he confessed, I was confused. I don't know what I did wrong to make him feel that I have a special feeling despite the fact that I NEVER GAVE ANY REASON to make them feel that I can reciprocate their feelings. They both know that I am in love with someone else. 


    I met someone and had a crush on him during our nursing review. Even though that time, he never sees me as a special person, me and him became friends. I always tell my 2 guy friends everyday about him and they never fail to remind me that we are not meant for each other. 

   

     Until a year later, my crush finally said yes to me, and we were in a relationship. Haha. Of course, I never failed to inform my two guy best friends that me and my crush were already in a relationship. Still, my 2 guy best friends never ever fail to remind me every day that we are not meant for each other. 


    The day came when me and crush separated ways. That time, these two best friends of mine were like in a race, competing at each other which of them will become my boyfriend. (Yeah I know, I'm rapunzel)

   

     I can't understand the feelings I felt that time because aside from the fact that I can't yet move on from my past relationship, I didn't understand why it happened to be this way that my 2 best friends started arguing and fighting each other for who is the best. I treated them as my brothers, and it hurts that it has come this far to have to let them go. 


    I didn't want to, but I have to. For me to be able to save this friendship, I must let them go. I love them both, but I love our friendship more. They left me no choice, so I deleted everything. Think of whatever you can. Anything that can make me remember them. Trust me everything was gone. All at once. 


    Fast forward, 9 years later, me and my crush decided to get married. Oh yeah, me and him decided to get back together like a year after we broke up and we had survived the long-distance relationship for almost 5 years. I say long distance relationship because I went away and worked outside my country for me to be able to find myself a direction and as well as to forget him. But unfortunately, I cannot forget.


    Anyway, the friendship with my two guy best friends didn't really come back like how it was before because I found out that my friend D, became mentally deranged. I don't wanna give you the details, but he got sick. On the other hand, my other guy friend of mine went to NZ to be with his wife and their 2 kids to work their marriage out.


    Friendship is the foundation of humanity and is stronger than we think possible. It develops from an instinctive bond established between people who spend time together, sharing their thoughts and participating in each other's lives. It is an extraordinary gift in anyone's life.


    Even though the friendship I had with them never really came back to how it was before, I still cannot believe that once upon a time, I became a princess. 


To D and O,


    We might not understand to what happened to our friendship, but I want you both to know that I never regret the friendship I had with you both. Thank you for taking care and for making me feel loved. Thank you for the friendship and I will forever cherish it for the rest of my life. I love you both and I am still hoping that someday, we will meet again and our friendship will be restored.


Love,

Bujun


Wednesday, December 15, 2021

To Our Youngest

 


I was 4 years old when you were born. You were sucking my milk bottle (Coz that's what I thought) so I went upstairs and hide myself from everyone. Papa came to look for me and asked why I was hiding. I told him that you were sucking my milk bottle.

When you were a toddler, I didn't understand why you were very special. Mama and Papa would always pay you all their attention. They would ask me every time not to make you cry, or laugh much. You and Mama were always going in and out of the hospital for like forever. It was like you grew up there. 

Years, months, and days had passed, you grew up to be a fine young lady. And thank God, you are not sickly anymore. Strong, cheerful, kind and always loved by everyone.

Bing

You are someone capable of doing great things for the world. A kind-hearted one, generous, and a very loving sister. You should be very proud of the person you have become. 

Thank you for filling my thought process with constant positivity and for always loving me. 

My love for you is beyond the horizon, and is the most unconditional form. I promise that whatever happens, you will always have me. 

Cry if you can. Laugh when you can. Be happy. Remember this, if you are genuinely happy, we are too. Your Ates will always be here for you. Just knock and you will be opened. And I just want to see you happy, and satisfied with your life.

I pray to God that someday, all your fears, rages, and frustrations will all fade away and get to see how beautiful life can be.

May God bless you and I love you more than you could ever know. Love you infinite times.


Love

Ate

 

Ang mga batang sip-onon sa unang panahon.



Monday, November 29, 2021

5 Facts About Omicron (B.1.1.529)

 

Omicron variant: What is the new Omicron variant? Should you worry? -  Deseret News 

It's called the Variant of Concern. 

    Based on the evidence presented indicative of a detrimental change, in COVID-19 epidemiology, the TAG-VE (The Technical Advisory Group on SARSCoV-2 Virus Evolution) has advised WHO (World Health Organization) that this variant should be designated as a VOC and the World Health Organization has designated (B.1.1.529) as a VOC named as Omicron.

So how dangerous is this new variant?

    The B.1.1.529 variant was first reported to WHO from South Africa on 24 November 2021. The epidemiological situation in South Africa has been characterized by three distinct peaks in reported cases, the latest of which was predominantly the Delta variant. In recent weeks, infections have increased steeply, coinciding with the detection of B.1.1.529 variant. The first known confirmed B.1.1.529 infection was from a specimen collected on 9 November 2021. 

 1. Preliminary evidence suggests an increased risk of reinfection with this variant, as compared to other VOCs.

 2.  This new variant seems to spread very quick. 

3. The genetic sequencing showed it carried a large number of troubling mutations on the spike protein - the knoblike structure on the surface of the virus that it uses to grapple onto the cells it infects.

4. It carries a mutation called N501Y (which gave both the Alpha and Gamma their increased transmissibility) and also carries a mutation called D614G which appears to help the virus better attach to the cells it infects.

5. The most predominant clinical complaint is severe fatigue for at least 2 days, with then the headache and the body aches and pain.

    What worries scientists most is the number of mutations affecting the spike protein. That's because most of the leading vaccines target the spike protein. Vaccines made by Pfizer/BioNtech, Moderna, Johnson & Johnson, AstraZeneca and other companies all use just small pieces or genetic sequences of the virus and not the whole virus and all of them use bits of the spike protein to elicit immunity. 

    So a change in the spike protein that made it less recognizable to immune system proteins and cells stimulated by a vaccine would be a problem.

Source: Omicron

 

Saturday, September 18, 2021

5 Ways to Achieve Contentment

Anne Scottlin on Twitter: "❦Contentment is the art of finding joy in the  moment, regardless of how much you have or what you accomplish. ~Anne  Scottlin #happiness #wednesdaywisdom #Art #Megatruh #contentment #lifecoach… 


Contentment has nothing to do with external circumstances. 
It is about mindset.

    Many people claim to be content. But in reality, their condition may be better described as immaturity, disobedience, cowardice, laziness, or apathy. Being content is difficult to achieve, unless you change your state of mind. 

    Discontentment flows with a mindset that says "I deserve better than what I have been given." You think that the more you have, the more happiness you will get.

    You make a big mistake when you tie your happiness to something you get or achieve. Because once you get what you want, you will immediately think about the next thing until you end up feeling unhappy. It is a never ending cycle. 

You don't need to wait until you change everything in your life in order to feel content. You already have everything you need to be happy right now.

Here are 5 Helpful Ways to Start Learning How to be Content

1. Be Grateful For What You Already Have

-Write down a list of things you have in your life.Write everything even the simplest one. You will realize that you have many things that others may wish they had.

2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

-Don't compare your possessions and achievements to other people's achievements because everyone is different and has different circumstances. It is unfair.

3. Catch Yourself Thinking... "It sucks!"

-When you catch yourself thinking about things in your life that sucks, stop thinking and reverse it.Start searching for something good in everything you don't like. This way helps train your mind to be positive.

4. Do What You Love

-Start doing things that bring you joy. They may include going for a walk, hanging out with your friends, hiking, drawing, etc. Doing what you love gives you a sense of satisfaction.

5. Believe That You Are Enough

-You don't need anything to become content. You have everything. Contentment comes from within and nothing outside can make you achieve contentment.





    Friday, September 10, 2021

    Evanescent



    I hate to admit it. 
    I'm not judging you. 
    But this is what I feel about what you truly feel for me. 

    It's as evanescent as this rainbow.

    I'm scared to death. 
    Scared of tomorrow I may have with you. 
    But you know what perturbs me most?
    I have loved you more than enough that I don't freakin care anymore 
    of what the future holds.
     I don't want to lose you. 
    Losing you will be the scariest thing in my world. 
    But deep in my unfathomable heart, 
    I know,
     I need to let you go.

    Raindrops

                                                                    muslim names

                                                           Raindrops = Reham

    "I don't care how others are doing better than me, 
    but I am doing better now than I was last year."

                                                                  -Reham Vs. Reham Life Quote-

    The rain falls gently down, and slowly fills my cup. This never would have happened, if raindrops all fell up. Just like how this rain drop girl filled my life with happiness and love. I tell you. She's one in a million.

    I can't forget the day I met her. She was sitting on a small brown chair near a desktop, on a corner of a room full of papers. "That's probably her usual place" I thought to myself.


    I have a good intuition. Even though I cannot see her face, I knew she was smiling back at me when I entered the room on my first day of work and introduced my self. 

    Days passed and I get to learn more about her. For the past few years working in the hospital I am in, I seldom see others beyond my previous department and I never thought someone like her will become part of my life.

    She loves to travel. Well, of course, I assumed coz she has no choice but to love travelling because she needs to travel everyday to get to work. She wakes up early in the morning, takes care of her two babies named Shikhah and Ahmed (and let's include her husband, in case he will read this) She goes home thereafter, and travels again.

    Blue sky background with clouds and sun - Free Stock Photo by Aka Maraqu on  Stockvault.net

    Now look at the sky, what color do you see? She loves that color too. Just like you, It also makes her feel at ease and calm with just those colors.

    Day by day, weeks by weeks, months by months and years by years, little did I know, she gained my precious trust and respect.

    1,022 Two Friends Laughing Stock Illustrations, Cliparts and Royalty Free Two  Friends Laughing Vectors

    She's the kind of person who can laugh at the same stupid things I do. Someone who is never scared of giving me a brutal and honest advice (which is sometimes scary because it cuts through the heart), the one who never gets tired of listening to my pointless dramas over and over and over again and the first person who gets to ask how I'm feeling whenever I get sick. 


    I've only known her for 2 years but the respect, love, care, and faith I have for her will remain forever even until my last breath. And I always believe that friendship isn't about who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life and said "I'm here for you" and proved it.

    She's hard to find and lucky to have.


    My Dearest Riri,

        They say, anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you. You don't even know how happy I am when we laugh and forget - momentarily about all our problems. Time will come when you won't really need me anymore and I might not need you too. We could survive without each other. Yet, we have stuck with each other through the tough parts and pretty parts of life. 

        So thank you for staying around and enriching my life. Thank you for being you. Thank you for all the laughs. Thank you my raindrops. Cheers to everlasting friendship!

    Love,

    Bujun




    I hope we'll be friends forever, together we'll always be.
    I don't think you understand just how much you mean to me.
    And one day, when we part our ways, we'll think back to the past 
    and think about how happy we are
    cause our friendship will always last.



    Saturday, June 12, 2021

    Happiness Has Left Me

     

    Dear Happiness, 

    After all these years, I can't believe I am still struggling to find you. I don't know the exact reason why I cant have you. I don't know what's wrong, I don't know why you're hiding from me. I have been trying the best of my ability to finally get you but there's always a big black wall as high as the sky blocking my way to get you. 

    Oh happiness why did you leave me?

    When Charm Isn't Character

    There are people you meet in life who arrive like sunlight. Warm, bright, and almost too easy to trust. And then, slowly, like a shadow stre...