Entitled

Despite all best efforts, some people are simply difficult to communicate with. And unfortunately, I've met this person yesterday. 

You know? No matter how hard you try, they seem to miss chunks of conversations. 

No matter how clear the note, they still twist the message. 

No matter how explicit the instructions, they still manage to screw them up. 

It doesn't matter what type of conversation you use, how quickly or slowly you use, how many metaphors or descriptions you provide. Or how transparent and clear-cut your message is. 

That's how simply difficult to communicate with you. 

Kanang maka question nako sakong sarili ba na tama ba akong words na gigamit nganong dili man siya kasabot?

I hope and pray that you stumbled upon this blog, ug marealize nimo nga IKAW jud ni akong pasabot and just want to let you know na dili kaya matulon imong grabe ka maot nga ugali. Mura kag si kinsa makamandar. "KARON DAYON, GUSTO KO KARON NA DAYON, ASA NAMAN?" Sama sa giingon sa mga tawo nga nakadungog sa imong galabaw nga tingog labaw pa daw kas presidente. 

Trust me, daghan kaayug witness sa imong pagkamaot nga batasan.

Ug nganu diay kung gikan kag abroad? Di ba dapat humble ka? Isnt it na dapat kabalo ka nga muagig proseso ang tanang butang?

I cried not because I was scared of you. I cried because I was scared of myself. I was scared that I will burst. I was trying so hard that afternoon to never lose myself, and thank GOD I did. Because if I didnt, I swear to God, from the bottom of my hypothalamus, I will hurt your feelings. 

Because you won't really like me when I'm pissed.

You asked a question. And I answered nicely. And then you told me "Tarung tarunga ko ha!" so I answered you back "Giunsa diay ka maam? Wala man tika gishagitan." and you turned your head away again saying "tarung tarunga ko" 

Magtarungay tang duha eh. Vice versa ba.  

Pero still salamat Ginoo sa guidance ug sa taas na pasensya. Ug salamat kay imo silang gihawa sa amoa. 

I deserve to be treated with nothing less than respect and kindness.

A Rainy Day's Story

Engel and I came from Polomolok that day and while on our way back to General Santos City, it suddenly rained heavily. We could hardly see the road, so we decided to park our car on the side, and put on the hazard warning lights. 

While we were waiting for the rain to subside, there was an old woman standing near the trees we were sheltering. She was soaking wet, and holding her cell as if she wanted to call someone but could not be contacted. Maybe there was no signal due to heavy rain.

I looked at my husband while he was closing his eyes, and singing along to the song being played inside the car. 

I intend to take the old lady along if she was also going to the same direction as us anyway. In my mind, my husband is a helpful one. He barely says no.

I looked back to where she was standing but I jumped in horror when I already saw her outside my car window knocking, soaking wet, and apparently asking for help. I turned my glance to Engel again but he seemed to have fallen asleep by this time.

I opened the car window a little, and asked the lady what she needed but I really cannot hear her voice probably because of the heavy rain.

 So, I decided to open the car for her, and let her sit behind me.

"Nay, asa gani ka mag-uli?" I asked her. 

She looks soooooo pale. Her skin is ice-cold. And her eyes are so deep as if she didn't sleep for days. The one she wore looks like she came from a funeral because everything in her were all black. 

"Nay?" I mumbled.

"Pwede ko mag-uban sa inyo?" She asked.

"Aha man diay ka mag-uli nay?" I asked back.

"Kung asa lang naay mga bus kay mag-uli ko sa amoa. Pila nako kaadlaw sige hulat pero wa gyud gapasakay sa akoa, salamat kay nakita ko ninyo ug salamat kay inyo kong gipasakay"

To tell you honestly, I already had goosebumps. I was shaking inside, and slowly regretting the actions I did. I can no longer get her out, I thought to myself. Coz there she already is, comfortably sitting behind. She talks as if were a close knit.

A few moments later, the rain finally subsided, and I woke my husband up.

"Dad, medyo okay na ang ulan. Tas, pwede ta maghapit sa Bulaong Dad kay ipasakay nato si nanay."

I'm really not sure if my husband heard me because he was a bit focus looking at the road and the side-view mirrors.

I kept looking at her from the rear view mirror from time to time yet it seems like were doing the same thing. I kept lookin at her and she also seemed to be lookin back at me as if I was the only person in the car. 

The last time I looked her up, I was so horrified as she appears to no longer have a head. I quickly turned behind and there she was, in front of me as she almost pressed her ice-cold face against mine, while laughing. 

Then suddenly my alarm clock rang. It was my 5 o'clock. I opened my eyes, and prayed. 

Thank goodness, it's just a dream. 

I looked at my husband and my son, both sleeping quietly. I took a deep breath, and prepared myself for day duty. 

What a nightmare.

What do Ghosts Really Look Like?

This is the most common question that I've been always asked by people who believed, and who do not believe in ghosts. I, myself have a lot of queries too. Why me? It's the question that until now, the answer is still a mystery.

So, are they really for real? 

What do they look like? 

Do they talk? 

Can they talk to other ghosts? 

Will they know if you see them? 

What do they do if they see you looking at them? 

 

For 34 years, you would not believe that I'm still alive after everything that I saw from the very start until present. I read a lot of stories, and speculations that people like me are cursed. Some people call it a blessing. Most people call it a gift. 

I still remember when I was still on the verge on not wanting to open my eyes, or not wanting to wake up so I won't see their faces right in front of me. Or when I start to get stiffed because they are beside me or they were under the table while I eat.

This is one of the reason why I love watching horror movies, because I compare their ghosts to a real life one. And out of all the horror movies I've watched, there was only one movie that made me say "wow, it looks like the one who made this movie had seen one in real life." 

If you have read my story called The Start it was my first ever experienced of seeing a real life ghost. That exposure was a bridge for me to become aware that they are existent. The face that I saw was a paper-like face. I can CLEARLY see his face. And he was floating. That time, I felt so sad. 

When I was growing up, so as my fear to these entities, I found out that you cannot just see them. You'll also feel what they feel but 5x stronger. 

Just so you know, there are different kinds of ghosts. And you can easily distinguished them from ordinary people because THEY FLOAT. Even if they walk, they NEVER TOUCH THEIR FEET ON THE GROUND. 

So let's go back to the question. Are they for real? Sooo damn yes. They are so real. What do they look like? To tell you honestly, these entities, their faces are based on whatever face they want to show you. But their faces are pale. Really pale with dark eyes. Really really dark. Their stance are always stiffed. The way they look is always scary and sad. Do they talk? YES OF COURSE. They do. Their voices are always echoing. ALWAYS. Can a ghost gossip to another ghost? No. I've never seen one. Will they know if you can see them? YES. Definitely! What will they do if they see you looking at them? They will ask for your help. They will not stop until you talk to them. Wherever you go, they follow. 

So, just pretend that you don't see them. Never ever look them in their eyes. 

To be continued...

The Start

 

Based on a True Story

Maybe while reading my stories, you asked yourself if ghosts are for real. As what I always tell to people who don't believe, is that they are very real. For most, they say to see is to believe. Well. To believe is all up to you.

It started when I was young. At first I thought I was mentally ill because I was the only one who sees them. According to the stories of the elders, this only happens to people who were on the brink of death. In addition, a classmate of mine from elementary days called me crazy and freak. (Well, that's another story to tell). Anyway, every time these entities locked their eyes upon mine, the more they're drawn into me.

I was 7 years old when I entered this so-called "other world". We have a neighbor whose husband died because.. I actually don't know what's the cause of his death. A wake was held in their home. I still remember when Nanay Lilia's husband was still alive, sometimes when my Papa and I would pass by their house, he would always call my name "Indaylee! Asa naman pud ka mag-uban sa imong papa?" (Indaylee! Where are you going again with your papa?) I am known by the nickname IndayLee among our neighbors. My dad will just answer, and smile at him. 

The night of his wake, we were in their kitchen. Mama and Nanay Lilia were chatting, and somebody called them from the outside. Mama told me to stay for awhile and that she'll be back. 

I felt like i've been waiting so long for them to arrive so I left the kitchen, and went around the house to look where they were. However, it was all dark. Very dark. I turned my way back but I can no longer see the kitchen. There was no light or even noise. It's like you were walking blindly but your body knows where to go. I kept walking around until I saw their wooden gate. I went inside, and I saw a coffin. I peeked, but it was empty.  

I started to get scared and called mom over and over again. I screamed as loud as I could but my voice was just echoing. I cried and cried until an ice-cold hand patted my head. When I turned my head up, it was a tall, extremely pale man with a medium body build, his eyes were dark and sad. He wore a long black sleeve. He was barefooted, and floating. He was carrying a large candle. I knew his face but I don't remember his name. He asked me "nganong naa ka diri indaylee" (Why are you here, Indaylee?")  

I really cannot remember what else happened.. because

when I opened my eyes, I was still alone sitting in the kitchen, but there were already lights and a lot of noises from the outside, and I could hear Nanay Lilia's voice coming over. I hopped like a horse. She saw it and asked me, what's happened. She held my head, and asked why I was soaking wet with sweat. She said she came to pick me up because mama was waiting at the gate. As we went out away from the kitchen, I turned my head back and I saw the pale man again, holding the large candle while staring at us walking away. 

The Black Entity

 

Based on a True Story

Honestly, I cannot remember what or how, or where everything started.. Most days, I kept asking myself, why me?

2nd year of my secondary school. Our classroom was separated from another building where only three sections use the area. We were used to be called the "network class students". Our area were surrounded by trees. Lots of trees, plants, flowers, and a huge old tree sitting on the left side of the building. I can't remember what kind of tree was that, but it was enormous. 

It was two o'clock in the afternoon, the subject being taught to us was English when one of our classmates suddenly screamed because her seat-mate passed out and had a seizure. It was the first time this happened, and no one knew what to do so they took her to the school clinic.

Second day, for the second time, and at the same time, our classmate  passed out again. I looked to the side because there seemed to be a large shadow watching over her. She was taken to the school clinic once more. She already felt fine late afternoon and was sent home. 

On the third day, for the third time and all at the same time, something else happened. She was pale, and she was crying and screaming. The shadow that I saw took the shape of a person and was in front of her while slowly facing her. He was gliding. Just a dark face I saw coz it also disappeared after they took her to the school clinic.

I joined, in taking her to the clinic, and that's when I saw the creature's full face. These things are no longer new to me so I am really not that afraid anymore of such. We were inside a cubicle of the school clinic. She kept on crying, screaming. She was really scared. That creature was guarding the exit and he seemed to want to take that classmate of mine. I whispered something to her, (I duno if she still remembers it, if ever she reads this) I closed my eyes, and prayed my heart out while covering her eyes with my hand. I kept praying over and over again, because I can feel the creature was already beside me. 

Believe it or not, it happened. It really happened. It was my first time seeing a dark entity. He has very black face, red and glaring eyes. And his hands were like branches of a tree. Whenever I reminisce that event, I can't help but laugh at myself because at that time, I never felt a slightest touch of fear.  Because often, I get cold and numb, I cannot move, and I obviously look like a statue whenever these things appear to me. 

Anyway, she was being prayed over in the school clinic, she was sent home and was absent for a couple of days. 

When she came back, I asked her what she saw. She said "I saw a very black man, red eyes, and was leaning over me in the classroom. And while I was in the clinic, he was watching over, guarding near the exit door" 

She didn't even remember that I was there. 

When I was going home that afternoon, something told me to look at the tree that used to be beside the building. They cut the tree. 

I don't know if anything still bothers her now. Hopefully, no more.

Stairs

 

Based on a True Story 

It was just an ordinary afternoon. I was reading a Harry Potter book in my room. Usually, when I'm alone in the room, I always close the door but at that time, I just left the door open. My younger sister and I were just two at the time. She was in the living room watching TV. 

Our house has a third floor. My room was on the 2nd floor and just next to the stairs. I was 14 years old at that time and what happened that day was one of the most unforgettable events in my life. 

While I was in the middle of reading, there seemed to be a child with a long face, wearing a red cloak slowly coming down the stairs from the third floor. He was on tiptoe and seemed to be trying to walk in a very quiet manner. My whole body went cold and I stopped my breath when I saw him stop his descent, and slowly turn to me. 

I closed my eyes for just a few seconds, and when I opened my eyes, he was in front of me. He has no eyes. His nose seems to have been removed. And his mouth has no teeth. I screamed but I couldn't hear my voice. I can't move no matter how I tried. The only thing I could feel was the very cold thing resting on my back.

I closed my eyes again and I heard my sister screaming. I was like superman flying down the stairs. She said, she saw a child with a long face wearing a red cloak that came down and seemed to disappear like a bubble.

I'm 34 years old now, and that incident was one that finally opened an eye. An eye that should never be opened. 

Unexpected Turn of Events

 

Accidents do happen at any time of any day. 

And when it does, you'll feel all these kind of emotions/feelings you've never felt before, and you tend to become a very pessimistic person, like really.

Actually I took this out for granted coz I thought, "ahh it's just a normal knee sprain". Besides, before coming back to Saudi Arabia, I had this XRAY to checked if there were some fractures (coz I swear to God, I heard a cracking sound) 

I was taking pain meds to relieved the pain.  Many times I went back to Accident and Emergency but the doctor who saw me said to just wait for the appointment, and be reassessed by the Ortho team. Well, makes sense.

I waited for a week for the appointment and really the pain was already unbearable. Initially, the Ortho doctor cannot assessed my knee due to severe pain. That day, I was given 7 days sick leave to help reduce the pain and swelling, and been prescribed with muscle relaxant and pain medications.

A week after, the swelling did not subside and the pain meds just giving me few hours effect. I cannot walk. It turned out to be, a patellar dislocation. 

I feel bad for my colleagues coz they had no choice but to adjust their schedules for me. Most of them had their overtime maximized because of me. I was hopeless and depressed.

However, whenever someone also prays for you, you become someone who gets energized and you just feel the presence of God. 

My colleagues, I thank them so much for being soooo understanding. There were some people who had helped me in SOOO MANY WAYS, encouraged, and even prayed for my well-being, 

I pray to God to bless them more each and everyday. I cannot thank them all enough for what they did, but I’ll never forget. I remember everyone.

THANK YOU Jesus. Thank you Mama, Papa, and to all my family.

P.S 
Although I am still on the verge of the healing process, I still pray for more moral strength to venture this challenge, and more hope in the next coming days. 

Soon to Buy :)

APX Gator Case

Dymo Label Maker

Knee Immobilizer

Best Products of Amazon (My Personal Choice)

The Best Amazon Products of 2023

 

CROCS - Unisex Adult

Apple Earpod Connector

Effective Acne Patch 

False Lash

Wireless Apple Airpods (2nd Gen)

It's my first time. I know I suck at this. Just trying my luck. I'm still a beginner. I don't even know if I'm doing it correctly. :D 

Oh How I Love My Ex Boyfriend

He was just a typical guy. Simple, kind, quiet, and someone you can tell jokes around coz he always get back to you with something funnier.

His dimples made a lot of girls drew into him, but he being a mysterious, and cold type person will kinda make you turn away from him, somehow. And yet again, because of his enchanting appeal, you get back from wanting him over, but this time, you ask for more.

2011 when I first met him. Every girls in his class admire him so much that you tend to get quite jealous and somehow get puzzled. We started as friends. Well at least, that was the best thing, for me. However, days passed, months, and my feelings for him began to slowly fade away due to a friend's protest that he's been with a lot of women, or that he was waiting for someone else in his hometown, or that he will never be good enough for me.

But I guess, love is the most powerful weapon in this world. Because you know, no matter what people say, it never bothers you despite all accusations thrown. So yeah, I still ended up liking him despite the negativity. 

She was pretty. Her long, black, curly hair and eyelashes combined with a sexy body defines a goddess. I can never compete with such a beauty if that's the kind of attraction my guy would always want.

I had my two ex-boybestfriends who never get tired of listening to my pointless insecurities, and dramas. Although they always wanted to meet him but I always make sure they don't get to see him. Oh how puzzled they are how I get to like someone who likes someone else.

Every year of the same month and day, never had I forgotten to greet him a happy birthday. Little did I know, he started to notice me.

2013. He took a chance on me. We had our first date watching movie the wolverine. We enjoyed each others company. Most of the time, we spend our time talking about life, dreams, work, and whatever comes to mind. We see each other at least twice a month until it lasted. I wasnt good enough. 

I'm the kind of person who swallows all the bad feelings until I get to burst.(Not a good personality by the way) It took me a year to finally let him go, and decided to find my fate and leave the county. 

I found myself on bended-knee, crying the hell out of me at my favorite church, asking God his plans because I didn't know where else to go, and what I should do with my life. 

I was lost. (If you're thinking I was lost because of him, yeah he took a part of it, but most of it are personal reasons)

 2015. I get the opportunity to leave the country and started a new journey.

But then it began anew...

We got back together again. No matter how many times I try to escape, I always end up loving the same man over and over and over again.

Obstacles and challenges always occur to test our patience, and trust. So during one of our trips, he's physically with me but not really with me. That night, he thought I was asleep, yet caught him chatting with someone else saying sweet goodnights. She calls him in a sweet endearment and so does he. Oh how it broke my heart.

Love changes everything. Moreover, love can be learned. It always does no matter what. And for the nth time around, I found myself crying again. He just can't figure out who he really wants. He was liking a girl from his work. And he never knew that I knew. (but now he knows)

Days kept on coming, and I finally get to realized that if a man thinks you're the one, he will changeover not just for you but for himself to become a better man.  

As months, and years had passed, we found ourselves getting closer each day, and finally get the true meaning of contentment. 

You see? Love knows no bounds.

I once told him that if someday I get married, I would wish "A thousand years" will be played when I walk down the aisle. 

And indeed, during our wedding day, all of my favorite songs were sang, and while I was walking down the aisle, who knew? He still remembered the song I once told about.

Every relationship is unique. Each person brings their own history and needs. And love? Well, what can I say? Love is the most powerful weapon in the world.

Oh how I love my ex boyfriend because he's now upgraded as a husband. 

 P.S

We now got a little baby boy who'll turn one soon, in God's Grace.   

Epitome of Melancholy

 

Anybody who's ever gone through depression would tell you that it's not just something in your mind but rather it's something you feel in your body as much as in your head. It's also in your stomach.

Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends but hate socializing. It's wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It's feeling everything at one than feeling paralyzing numb. This is what a picture of what anxiety and depression at times feel like. 

Yet, Dr. Chris said is that fear causes anxiety. In these moments of anxiety, you need to stop listening to yourself  and should have to start talking to yourself.