Closer Than Before: A Year-End Prayer

The years 2024-2025 were some of the most challenging seasons of my life. There were days filled with questions, nights heavy with tears, and moments when the whys felt louder than the answers. In the midst of the pain, I confess that I did not always see Your reasons, Lord. I did not always understand what You were doing. 

Yet now, as this year comes to an end, I pause, and I thank You.

Thank You, Lord God, for never letting go of me, even when I struggled to hold on to You. Thank You for drawing me closer through the very trials that almost broke me. Thank You for answering my prayers, not always with what I wanted, but with lessons. Lessons etched into my heart, lessons I know I will carry forever. 

You already know what is in my heart, O Lord. Every unspoken hope, every quiet fear, every longing I could not put into words. And now, as the year 2026 stands just hours away, I come before You with a humble prayer: let what I have started with You continue. Let my walk with You grow deeper, stronger, and more sincere. Teach me not only to seek You in desperate moments, but to remain close to You in every season.

Please bless me, Lord. Bless my whole family and my friends. Cover us with your grace, guide us with you wisdom, and surround us with Your peace. You are my God, my Savior, my refuge, my stronghold.

I choose not to fear, for You are with me.

I choose not to be dismayed, for You are my God.

I know You will help me.

I know You will strengthen me. 

And I know you will uphold me with the righteous right hand of Your love and faithfulness. 

On this promise, I stand.

Thank You, Lord, for the past, for the present, and for the future You are already holding. Into this new year, I place my trust in You - fully, willingly, and wholeheartedly. Amen. 💛

Understanding Jeremiah 29:11

 Jeremiah 29:11 is one of the most quoted verses in the Bible:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord....

It is often shared as a message of immediate comfort, spoken over dreams, plans, and waiting seasons. But when you read in its original context, this verse becomes even more powerful, though far less comfortable. 

Because Jeremiah 29:11 was spoken not to people living their best lives, but to people living in exile - people who were displaced, grieving, and far from what they once knew. And somehow, that makes the promise feel even more real.

Hope Was Spoken to the Broken

The audience of this promise was the Jewish captives in Babylon, people who had lost their homes, their temple, their land, and their sense of security. They were not where they wanted to be. There were not free. And yet, it was to them, that God said, "I know the plans I have for you.."

This tells us something important: God's plans are not cancelled by displacement, loss, or discipline.

Not Everyone Received the Same Promise

Just a few verses later (Jeremiah 29:17-18), God speaks of sword, famine, and pestilence - but this time, to those who remained in Jerusalem. They believed staying behind meant safety and favor. But God call them "bad figs" while the exiles are called "good figs" in an earlier vision (Jeremiah 24)

A Promise with a Timeline

Jeremiah 29:11 is connected to a difficult truth just one verse earlier:

"After seventy years are completed..." (Jeremiah 29:10)

God's promise included waiting. Seventy years meant that many who first heard the promise would not personally see its fulfillment. The hope was real, but it required endurance, faith, and trust across generations.

This challenges our modern understanding of hope. We often want God's plans to fix things quickly. But biblical hope is not about speed. It is about certainty.

What This Means for Us Today

Jeremiah 29:11 does not promise an easy road. It promises that God is present even in displacement. That suffering is not meaningless. And that the future is secure, even when the present is painful. 

When life feels like Babylon, foreign, heavy, and far from what we prayed for, it may actually be the place where God is shaping our future most carefully.

Hope does not always come wrapped in comfort. Sometimes it comes wrapped in endurance. But the same God who allowed the exile also planned the restoration. 

And if God could say "I know the plans I have for you.."  to a people in chains, then He can still speak hope into our waiting, our losses, and our long nights. 

Because hope, in Scripture, is not the absence of hardship. It is the promise that hardship will not have the final word.

The Beauty of Unexpected Friendships

Bui's Squad

Life has a quiet way of surprising us, and sometimes those surprises come in the form of people we never planned to love this deeply.

I never imagined being part of this group. We didn't start as friends. Most of us were nurses, and worked at the same station, that was actually its greatest advantage. Being in the same place allowed us to understand one another more deeply. We simply knew when someone needed help, a break, or just a quiet moment of understanding. What began as a shared workplace slowly became a shared bond, turning colleagues into friends, and the station into a place of connection, not just duty. 

We came from different backgrounds, carried different stories, and walked into each other's lives for different reasons. Yet somehow, without forcing it, we became a circle.

Our friendship didn't just happen overnight. It grew slowly - in shared laughter, in awkward silences, in late conversations that stretch longer than intended. And I started to realize that these people around me are becoming my safe place. Because they are the ones who show up not because they have to, but because they want to.

Now let me introduce each of them as I came to know them.

First up: Marvin, a.k.a. Bui.

Bui is that rare kind of human who is a guy by gender but a girl at heart, and honestly, the world is better because of it. He is kind, genuine, and so pure-hearted that trying to think of something negative about him feels illegal. Seriously, my brain refuses.

I got to know him when he was my Head Nurse, and wow… this is where his magic really shows. He has this rare gift of making people laugh even in the toughest situations, when everything feels heavy and overwhelming. I remember countless times during busy shifts when tensions were high, and somehow Bui would crack a joke, flash his trademark smile, and the whole team would breathe easier. His humor isn’t just funny, it’s healing. His presence alone could lift the room.

But what really sets Bui apart is his heart. He notices the small things whether it’s checking on someone who looks exhausted, offering advice when you’re struggling, or quietly staying back to help without being asked. He has this amazing ability to make people feel seen, valued, and appreciated, and that’s a rare gift.

Leadership came naturally to him. Not the bossy kind, not the “do this, do that” kind, but the I’ve-got-your-back kind. He’s the type of leader who won’t leave you hanging, won’t walk away when things get hard, and will stay with you until the very end.

Let’s talk about Kristal, a.k.a. Taltal.

First of all, this girl is pretty. No debates. No objections. Case closed.

I first met Kristal when she became my mentor while I was still new at the hospital. Right away, we found our common ground: we were both nurses who had previously worked in Saudi Arabia. So yes, she knows how to speak Arabic and yes, that little connection pretty much kick-started our friendship.

Kristal is the kind of person who speaks with zero filter. Like… none. Brutally honest? That’s her brand. Sometimes what she says might sting especially if you actually did something wrong. But the truth is, she never says anything just to hurt you. She says what needs to be said, whether you’re ready for it or not.

She gets angry. She calls you out. She tells you the things you might not want to hear but absolutely need to hear. And yet, here’s the best part. She will never leave you behind. No matter what.

That’s what I love about her. Kristal may scold you, lecture you, or emotionally slap you with the truth… but when things get hard, she stands beside you. She won’t let you fight alone. Ever. And honestly? That kind of loyalty hits different. Oh, and by the way, she is still single. :)

Now let’s talk about Jean 

I didn’t get to know Jean right away, mostly because I was too shy to talk to her. My first impression? I thought she was snob, strict, and probably not the easiest person to approach. Clearly… I was very wrong.

As it turns out, Jean is the complete opposite of that first impression. She is warm, chatty, lively, and full of stories. The kind of person you can listen to over and over again and never get bored because everything she shares comes straight from the heart, full of passion and sincerity.

And when she smiles - ahhh - those dimples. I honestly wish I had them. One smile from Jean and the whole room just feels lighter.

She’s a simple girl living a simple life, yet somehow she carries the most extraordinary love story of her own. The kind that doesn’t need to be loud or flashy. Just real, beautiful, and quietly inspiring.

And now, it’s Nikka’s turn.

I actually already knew Nikka before, because she attended Lee’s baptism. But let me be honest, I completely forgot about it… to the point that she had to remind me. Oops. Memory fail aside, I’m very glad we found our way back to each other.

What do I loooove most about this woman? Easy. Her food.
Cookies? Yes.
Spaghetti? Absolutely.
Mango float? Say less.
And that’s just the beginning. Anything Nikka prepares comes with love and probably disappears very fast.

She’s the kind of person who is incredibly easy to love because she is, quite simply, lovable. Everything she says comes straight from the heart. No pretenses, no drama, just sincerity.

And when Nikka gets angry? Oh, you’ll know. Not because she shouts or explodes but because she goes completely quiet. Silent. Peaceful-looking… yet deadly serious. She can stay that way for an entire shift, no words wasted.

But here’s what makes Nikka truly special: she is deeply trustworthy. If you are her friend, she will never allow anyone to talk negatively about you behind your back. She will defend you, stand up for you, and fight for you when you’re not around.

That loyalty, that heart, that’s Nikka. And that’s exactly why we love her.

Let’s talk about Darl, also known as Quinn.

What can I say about the long-lost twin of Sarah Lahbati? Because honestly she is a spitting image. I even sent her a photo of Sarah Lahbati once and told her, “Quinn, kamukha mo.” And of course, being the humble soul that she is, she brushed it off and replied, “She’s too beautiful, ate.”

Well… there you go. Probably one of the most humble people I’ve ever met.

Quinn isn’t just pretty on the outside. She’s even more beautiful on the inside. In our group, the moment she cracks a joke, it’s game over. Laughter everywhere. Non-stop. She’s bubbly, cute, kind, and effortlessly funny, the kind of person whose energy instantly lifts the mood.

And here’s something I truly admire about her: Quinn is a one-man woman. When she loves, she loves only one. No confusion, no distractions. Even if a hundred men lined up begging for her attention, her heart already knows where it belongs.

That’s something we both share. We stand on the same ground. One-man women, through and through. And that loyalty, that sincerity, that beautiful heart? That’s exactly what I love about her.

Her name is Esther Sundae, but we all call her Kimmy.

Another pretty lady in the group, but not just pretty. She’s the kind of pretty that could easily walk into a pageant and come out wearing a crown. Miss Universe vibes, honestly. And just when you think that’s enough, surprise! She’s also very smart.

Kimmy is the type who understands things with just one simple instruction. One. Meanwhile the rest of us are still processing. Like… how does that even work? Hahaha. She already has everything. Pretty, smart, kind, simple. Come on, Kimmy. Leave some blessings for the rest of us.

But what I admire most about her is how unpretentious she is. No airs, no drama, just genuine goodness. She’s one of the most accommodating people I’ve ever known.

She has helped me in so many ways, especially when I was still working as a clinical instructor. There were times I needed books, and without a single question, she let me borrow all of hers. And do you know what she said?

“Take your time, ate. You can give them back when you’re done.”

That simple line says everything about her heart. I am truly blessed to have someone like Kimmy in my life, and I can’t thank God enough for placing her in it.

We’re down to the last two, and now let’s talk about Mevee, a.k.a. Love.

Another literally pretty woman in the group, inside and out. Her real name is Mevee Love, and most people call her Mev or Mevee. But once we got closer, I earned the privilege of calling her by her real nickname: Love.

And honestly? The name fits her perfectly.

Love is exactly what she is. Pure love wrapped in kindness and simplicity. She’s the type of girl who loves to hug, the kind of hug that feels safe, warm, and real. The kind you didn’t know you needed until you got one.

She is also fiercely loyal. This is the kind of person who will never betray you, never drop names, and never talk behind your back no matter how difficult the situation gets. If you could read her mind, it would probably say: “You can say whatever you want, but you will never hear it from my mouth.” And she means that, even if it costs her something.

That’s why she’s a keeper.

She hates attention, and if she ever gets angry, don’t panic. Give her a few hours and she’ll be okay. But fair warning: if you hurt her deeply, don’t expect things to go back exactly the same. She forgives, but she remembers. And that’s just honesty, not bitterness.

I love this person deeply. She is one of the reasons my life feels beautiful and I am so grateful she’s part of it.

Last, but definitely not the least, Jhulia.

Her name alone already says so much: Jolly, Honest, Understanding, Lovable, Important, and Admirable. Every letter fits her perfectly.

Jhulia is an integral part of the group, very much like Bui. She’s responsible, dependable, and a natural leader. The kind people naturally trust and feel safe with. But what makes her even more admirable is her humor. Every word that comes out of her mouth carries joy. You don’t just hear her. You feel her.

Honestly, the group would never be complete without her. She is that missing piece that quietly holds everything together.

Even though there’s more than a decade between our ages, the maturity she carries in everything she does deserves nothing but respect. It’s the kind of maturity that isn’t forced, it’s earned, lived, and deeply rooted.

Jhulia brings so much joy, authenticity, pure love, and honesty into my life. I truly can’t thank the Lord enough for blessing me with a person like her.

And with her, the circle feels whole. 💛

Looking back, I feel so blessed to have crossed paths with all of these incredible people. Bui, Kristal, Jean, Nikka, Quinn, Kimmy, Love, and Jhulia. Each one of them is unique, yet together, they create a circle full of laughter, loyalty, love, and unforgettable memories. They are more than friends; they are family by choice. Every story, every joke, every shared moment reminds me how lucky I am to know them. Honestly, life is brighter, sweeter, and just… better because they are in it. And for that, I can only be grateful. I love you everyone. See you, when I see you. 

P.S

Sorry, I think I forgot 1 more person. Sir Oppa.

Well, as everyone knows, he is my husband. And the Love of my Life. Nothing more to say. :D

Jacob: A Life Shaped by Struggle and Grace

Let's talk about the story of Jacob (Genesis 25-50)

Jacob is one the great patriarchs of the Bible - The son of Isaac and Rebekah, and the grandson of Abraham. His life is recorded mainly in the book of Genesis, and it is a story of struggle, transformation, and God's faithfulness. 

Jacob entered the world holding onto a heel.

From the very beginning, his life was marked by striving, reaching for what was ahead of him, grasping for a place that did not yet belong to him. He was born the younger twin, overshadowed by Esau's strength, and birthright, yet driven by quiet hunger for blessing.

And so, Jacob took shortcuts.

He bargained a bowl of stew for his brother's birthright. He listened when his mother whispered a plan, and wrapped himself in deception, stealing a blessing meant for another. When the truth came out, Jacob did not stand his ground. He ran.

Running from his brother's anger, Jacob slept under an open sky, resting his head on a stone. He was alone, afraid, and far from deserving, and yet, that was the very place where God reached him.

In his dream, Jacob saw heaven reached down to earth, a stairway filled with angels, and the voice of God offering promises he had not worked for or deserved. "I am with you" God said. Jacob woke in awe, realizing that God had met him in that place. He called in Bethel, the house of God, and for the first time, his faith felt real and personal.

But transformation is never instant. 

Years later, Jacob experienced deception from the other side. After laboring seven years for the woman he loved, he was betrayed and married her sister instead. The one who once deceived now understood the pain of being deceived. Long nights of work, extended seasons of waiting, and tangled family relationships slowly and painfully shaped him. Still, even in that place, God continued to bless him.

When Jacob finally turned toward home, fear walked beside him. Esau was coming. The past was catching up. 

On a lonely night by the river, Jacob wrestled not with his brother, but with God. The struggle lasted until dawn. Jacob refused  to let go without a blessing, and in that moment, God did something unexpected. He did not just bless Jacob. He renamed him.

"You shall no longer be called Jacob" God said, "but Israel - because you have struggled with God and prevailed."

Jacob walked away wounded, yet transformed. The struggle left its mark on his body, but it also gave him a new name and a new way of living. He was no longer driven by grabbing what he wanted. He had learned how to cling to God.

When Jacob finally faced Esau, the moment he feared most became the moment of grace. Forgiveness met him where fear once lived. Tears replaced anger. Embraces replaced revenged. God had gone before him.

In the later years, Jacob had 12 sons, who became the 12 tribes of Israel. Among them was Joseph, who was sold into slavery but later rose to power in Egypt. Through Joseph, Jacob's family was saved during a severe famine. 

Jacob eventually moved to Egypt, where he blessed his sons before his death. 

Jacob's story is not about perfection. It is about persistence. 

It is about God who meets us on the run, wrestles with us in the dark, and refuses to let us remain the same. Jacob's life tells us this truth: God is not afraid of our struggle. He uses it to shape us. 

And sometimes, the blessing comes with a limp. And sometimes, that limp is how we remember that we have met God.

I hope you like his story. 

God bless everyone!

Thank you for taking the time to read the story all the way to the end. Your time and attention truly mean so much. :)

What We See Is Not Always the Truth

We live in a world that constantly tells us to trust what we see. Photos, headlines, social media posts, facial expressions, and even silence are often taken as facts. Yet, time and experience gently remind us of a deeper reality: what we see is not always the truth.

So much of life happens beneath the surface. A smile can hide exhaustion. Success can mask loneliness. Silence may not mean peace coz it may mean someone is fighting battles they do not know how to name. We judge moments from the outside, unaware of the storms ranging within.

The human eye is limited, but the human heart is even more complex. We see actions, but we don't always know intentions. We hear words, but we may miss the wounds behind them. We notice outcomes, but rarely the sacrifices, prayers, tears, and sleepless nights that led there. This is why quick judgments are often unfair and dangerous.

Even in faith, this truth remains. In the Bible, God repeatedly reminds us that He sees differently than we do. "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7) 

What appears like delay may actually be protection. What feels like loss, may be preparation. What seems like rejection, could be redirection. 

There are seasons when life looks broken, confusing or unfair. From the outside, it may appear that God is silent or absent. But just because we cannot see Him working does not mean He is not. Faith is learning to trust beyond sight, to believe beyond evidence, and to rest in the unseen. 

This truth also calls us to live with compassion. When we remember that what we see is not the whole story, we become slower to judge and quicker to love. We learn to listen more, assume less, and extend grace where we once extended criticism. Everyone is carrying something, some burdens are simply invisible.

In the end, truth is not always loud or obvious. Sometimes, it is quiet, hidden, and unfolding slowly. What we see may shape our perception, but it should never define our conclusions. There is always more than meets the eye.

May we learn to see with understanding, believe with faith, and love with patience. And remembering that what we see, is not always the truth.

The Boy Behind My Chair

This is a love story.

If you’re curious, feel free to read on, and maybe giggle a little.

I didn’t even know he existed at first. It all started during one lively review lecture. He cracked a joke, an absolutely ridiculous one, that had the entire class laughing like crazy. I can’t even remember what the joke was, but I remember the laughter… and the way I couldn’t stop thinking about it even when I got home.

The next day, something changed. Suddenly, I started noticing him. He sat right behind me in class. (By the way, he and I were classmates during our PNLE review way back in 2010.) He belonged to a group of graduate students from Brokenshire College SOCSKSARGEN Inc. in General Santos City.
And me? I wasn’t even supposed to be enrolled at Nurse Zone Review Center. Our official in-house review was somewhere else, but my best friend Joanna, full scholar and proud cum laude, chose Nurse Zone. So of course I followed.
Minus the full scholarship. Sad life.

I was sure he had no idea I existed. I did manage to make a couple of friends: Yves and Noona.
Noona was my seatmate. Yves was… well, Yves. Friendly to everyone, sitting anywhere there was an empty chair. He was also busy liking our friend Apple.

Noona was the first one to notice I had a crush on him. But she warned me right away: he wasn’t “ideal.” Too many girls around him, and apparently someone was waiting for him back home.

Meanwhile, Yves, being Yves, found out about my little crush and arranged a get-together with the group. We ended up at Mang Inasal for dinner, and It was his birthday.

And honestly? Just the sight of him was enough to melt me on the spot. I already knew he was waiting for someone else, but that didn’t stop my heart from doing its own thing.

I’ll never forget what Noona told me:
“Unsa man imong nakita sa iyaha? Pasakitan raka ana. Bahala ka.”
(What do you even see in him? He’s just going to hurt you. It’s up to you.)

But by then, it was too late. I’d already fallen.

One day, though, my heart couldn’t take it anymore, and I told myself to stop liking him. My boy best friends were waiting outside the review center that day, excited to finally see “this guy” I kept bragging about. But he left early, and I didn’t even see him go. When I told my friends, they didn’t believe a word.

Fast forward to the very last day of PNLE. Everyone was busy packing and preparing to go home. Joanna and I had just left the center to pick up some things, when suddenly, I received a text message, one I will never forget.

“Asa ka? Kung makaagi ka kadali sa dorm kay naa koy ihatag.”
(Where are you? If you can pass by the dorm for a moment, I have something to give you.)

As we walked closer to the dorm, I felt my happiness rise uncontrollably. He was already standing by the door, waiting. And right there, the feelings I tried so hard to kill, came back to life.

He handed me a small brown teddy bear and said,
“Ikaw akong naremember pagkakita ani.” (I thought of you when I saw this.)

That was it. Game over.
We became friends. Then we started dating.
But it only lasted a couple of months. After that, silence. Years of silence.

Yet every year, without fail, I greeted him on his birthday, even with no expectation of a reply. I still liked him. Even without talking, even without seeing him, even when my friends kept scolding me for “wasting my life on someone who didn’t love me back.”

But sometimes, the heart holds on even when the head already gave up.

So I lied. I told everyone I’d moved on. But deep inside, he stayed there, stuck in a place I couldn’t reach nor let go of.

It took years before I finally decided to let him go. I accepted a job in Saudi Arabia. I didn’t tell anyone until a few weeks before my departure.

Eventually, he found out that I left the Philippines.
But honestly, my heart stayed with him.

Then one day, one faithful, life-changing day, he sent me a message.
A message that shifted everything.

The rest is history.

Fast forward to today:
We now live and love each other faithfully, with God at the center of our relationship. From friends to lovers, through distance, silence, and years of waiting, God held us together.

Arguments? Sure. Problems? Of course.
But in every marriage, those are just small bumps.
When you know what you want, when loyalty stands firm, when God stays in between you both, everything becomes bearable. Everything becomes beautiful.

And that, I believe, is the secret to a lasting love. 

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it :)

Not Everyone Needs to Understand You

Recently, I learned from a close friend that some of the girls inside the accommodation were talking about me, labelling me as someone who has "no friends."

Honestly, I couldn't help but laugh 😂. It's amusing how, for some people, such a trivial thing can seem so important. The truth is, they only know a fraction of who I really am - maybe five percent at best. 

My real friends, the ones who have seen me through my highs and lows, know exactly who I am. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but I've realized that what started as gossip slowly turned into something more, a form of subtle bullying.

I've worked in Saudi Arabia for nine long years, and those years shaped me. They taught me patience, resilience, and wisdom - lessons learned the hard way. That's why before I speak, I think carefully. Living in a different country, surrounded by diverse personalities, taught me one crucial thing: silence can be power 🙌.

I also learned that not everyone you meet is meant to be your friend. You can do good things, offer kindness, and still be misunderstood. That's life. Not everyone will like you, and that's perfectly fine. People will always have something to say, even if they know nothing about you.

So when I heard I was being called "someone with no friends", I found it both fascinating and ironic. Because while they may see me as someone who walks alone, I know I am never truly alone. I have One True Friend - someone far greater, wiser, and more powerful than anyone else. You know who He is, right?  

Every day, I pray and ask God to choose my friends for me. And that's why I can confidently say, the few friends I have are genuine, God-given gifts. I don't need a crowd to validate my worth. My silence is not emptiness; it's PEACE 🕊. My solitude is not loneliness; it's STRENGTH 💪.

And as for those who judge without understanding - I HOLD NO GRUDGE. 😁 God knows their hearts, just as He knows mine. Perhaps that's exactly why I was never meant to be friends with them in the first place. 😎

Confessions of a Retired Angry Girl

I used to be an expressive girl. I spoke my mind without hesitation, fought for what I believed was right, and never cared if my words cut too deep. For me, it was enough to be heard, to make my point clear even if it meant hurting people along the way.

But here’s the twist: behind that bold, tough-looking girl was a certified cry-baby. Yeah. I was, in truth, a cry-baby. Almost everything that upset me brought me to tears. My Mama used to say that people avoided making jokes around me because I was too grumpy and easily offended. And yes, when I felt wronged, I held onto that grudge, sometimes for far too long.

Then came fifth grade. The year I officially got my "bullying survivor" badge. I can still recall the names, the faces, the whispers. One of my classmates, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named spread rumors that made me look awful. But here's the more plotted twist: while they were busy laughing, I was busy topping the class. Revenge is sweet, but success? EVEN SWEETER. 

Fast forward to college. I found my partner-in-crime, Joanna. We were the perfect definition of Yin and Yang. She was quiet and chill; I was… well, not quiet and definitely not chill. Whenever we landed in trouble, I was the one doing all the talking, explaining, and more often than not, arguing. I had no patience for injustice and couldn’t stand people who silenced themselves in the face of unfairness. It fueled my anger. I wanted to be their voice, their defender, their hero.

Looking back, I realize I was consumed with anger. I hated the world, hated weakness, hated silence. And yet, there are days when I miss that girl. The one who was unafraid to speak, unafraid of consequences, unafraid to be disliked.

Now, I am no longer that angry girl. I find it harder to raise my voice, even at myself. I swallow words I wish I could say. I tell myself it’s better to sacrifice than to create conflict. But deep inside, I know the silence hurts just as much as the anger once did.

Still, my journey is no longer about rage—it’s about grace. As I draw closer to God, I find myself learning to release the burdens I once carried: the anger, the rage, the loneliness, the despair. They no longer define me. I just want love. 

Now, my heart longs to ask: How far can love go?

Because at the end of it all, it is not anger that saves us. It is love.

And that’s the love I want not the shallow kind, not the conditional kind, but a love that runs deep and wide. Love for God, who never gave up on me. Love for myself, so I can finally forgive the girl I used to be. Love for my family and friends, who stood by me through every season. And yes, even love for those who hurt me so badly, because carrying bitterness only chains me to the past.

This is the kind of love I choose now. The kind that heals, restores, and sets me free.

And I am so proud of who I am now. 

To Forgive and Forget, or to Forgive but Not Forget

There are moments in life that cut so deep, they stay with us forever. I've had my share of hurt. The kind that makes you question people, love, even yourself. Sometimes, the pain builds walls around us, making it hard to trust again. And yet, life keeps asking us this timeless question: When we're wronged, do we forgive and forget, or do we forgive but never forget?

I used to think forgiveness was simple. You say sorry, you move on, you forget. But as I've grown older, I realized forgiveness isn't that easy. It's layered, messy, and very personal. 

Curious about how others see it, I asked some random friends, and people closest to me about their own take on forgiveness. What they shared gave me a deeper perspective, and honestly? It touched my heart in ways I didn't expect.

OMAR's honesty stayed with me. He said:

"For me, with my personality, I cannot forget at all. But in life, I believe we must forgive and forget. Because if you don't forget, then you haven''t truly forgiven 100%. There will always be something left in your heart. So, ideally, forgive and forget. But honestly for me, I forgive, but I cannot forget"

I could hear the struggle in his words. The desire to let go fully, but also the reality that forgetting isn't always possible. I felt that. Sometimes, our minds replay the pain even when our hearts want peace. 

Then there's JABIR, who has a more guarded view:

"No, if anyone do, ah like anyone do for me bad, I make that one more badly for him. I will forgive sure but I will not forget because you know if you forget 1st time, second time they will do it again. They repeat one by one. They may not do it today, or tomorrow, but the next day, they will hurt you again. So I will forgive yes but I will never forget."

His words reminded me of self-preservation. Forgiving doesn't mean giving people a free pass to keep wounding us. Forgetting too easily can sometimes open the door to repeated hurt.

ROSSENGEL - my rock and my gentle reminder of faith - told me something that warmed my heart:

"Forgive and love - that's biblical mommy. Love your enemy and do not hold on to the past, but look ahead to what is good. Humanly speaking, that's not easy to do, but in time we can learn, because that's truly the right thing to do."

Hearing him speak reminded me that forgiveness, at its highest form, is an act of grace. It's not about whether the person deserves it, but whether we choose to free ourselves from carrying the weight of resentment.

YUMA's answer hit me differently - it felt raw, unfiltered, and real:

"I don't forgive nor forget. As an empath, I find it difficult to forgive a person or forget the things that he did to me. Most specially if it's from a family member, friends, or someone dear to me. It might seem selfish, but those actions speak louder to me, means you really don't care about how would that make me feel and that's disappointing knowing that I do care. So I would retract from that situation, make you feel like a complete stranger, like I never knew or let you come into my life."

Her words made me pause. Not forgiving at all may sound harsh, but I understood her pain. Sometimes protecting your heart means walking away completely. 

Then came JOANNA, with the wisdom of someone who has grown through experiences:

"To forgive but not forget. My younger self will choose the first one but as you grow older man gud, you see through people's pretentiousness, and intentions. That is why you forgive but don't forget especially when it comes to your self. You forgive yourself but don't forget the lesson."

That one struck a chord with me. It's true. Age teaches us to balance compassion with caution. Forgiveness can be a gift, but memory becomes our teacher.

Finally, ANILA put it beautifully and simply:

"Forgive but don't forget. We're all human, and nobody is perfect. But we should never forget the lesson we've learned from being hurt."

Her words tied everything together because isn't that what life is? A series of lessons, often disguised as wounds. 

As I listened to all of them, I realized forgiveness isn't a straight path. It looks different for each of us. Some forgive and let go completely, some hold onto the memory to protect themselves, and some struggle to forgive at all. 

I used to think forgiving and forgetting was the "right" way, but now I believe it's more about what brings peace to your heart. Sometimes peace means letting go entirely. Sometimes it means remembering so you don't repeat the same mistake. And sometimes it means stepping back and choosing yourself.

Whatever forgiveness looks like for you, I hope it leads you to healing. Not just for the other person, but for yourself. Because at the end of the day, forgiveness is less about erasing the past, and more about freeing our hearts to move forward. 

ⓒphoto from dreamstime

20 Tips For a Successful Marriage

Marriage isn’t just about wearing a fancy outfit once and eating cake in front of everyone you know. It’s the after-party that lasts forever! Complete with dirty laundry, shared Wi-Fi passwords, and occasional arguments about where to order takeout. A successful marriage isn’t about never fighting or being a picture-perfect couple. NOBODY IS. It’s about learning how to love each other through the chaos, laugh at the small stuff, and keep choosing each other, day after day, year after year.

So, before anything else, remember this: the most important foundation of marriage is God. When He is at the center of your relationship, love becomes stronger, forgiveness comes easier, and every challenge becomes a little lighter. 

These 20 tips are helpful, but they work best when your marriage is anchored in faith and guided by Him.

1. Marry Your Best Friend

Not your literal BFF (though, hey, that a win-win!) But marry someone you actually like hanging out with. Looks fade, Netflix passwords expire, but laughing through life's curveballs together? That's forever. 

2. Communication is Vital 

Silent treatment is not communication. Neither is "I'm fine." Talk it out, even if it's uncomfortable. Yes, that includes the tough conversations about money, in-laws, and whether pineapple belongs on pizza.

3. Practice Forgiveness

Your spouse will annoy you. You will annoy your spouse. Forgive, move on, and resist the urge to bring up that one time they forgot your birthday three years ago...every argument since.

4. Quality Time

"Netflix and chill" is great, but try "Netflix and actually talk". GO ON DATES. Learn their hobbies. Pretend to enjoy their favorite show - even if it's the 14th crime documentary this week.

5. Remember You're a Team

Marriage isn't a solo sport. Teamwork means sharing responsibilities, supporting each other, and occasionally letting them win at board games (even when you're crushing it).

6. Enjoy Time Alone

Marriage doesn't mean you're surgically attached. Go out with your friends, read that book, or binge a show solo. Space makes the heart grow fonder, and keeps you from strangling each other.

7. Build Trust

If you can't trust your partner, you're in a bumpy ride. Trust is built daily through honesty, reliability, and not eating the last slice of pizza without asking.

8. Listen (Really Listen)

Nodding while scrolling instagram doesn't count. Active listening means eye contact, questions, and maybe even remembering what they said. Bonus points if you don't interrupt.

9. Accept Disagreements 

Spoiler alert: you won't agree on everything. That's okay. You're two humans, not clones. Respect each other's opinions, even if their favorite ice cream flavor is clearly wrong. 

10. Keep it Spicy

Yes, we mean that. But also keep flirting, keep surprising each other, and keep the romance alive. Think of it like keeping a houseplant alive - water it, give it attention, and occasionally talk dirty to it.

11. Establish Boundaries

Your spouse isn't a mind reader. Spell out your "no-go" zones. Boundaries can be about anything, from finances to how much of your fries they're allowed to steal.

12. Address the Little Things

Small annoyances pile up. Don't let socks on the floor turn into World War III. Talk about it before the anthill becomes a mountain. 

13. Don't Take Them for Granted

Familiarity breeds.. well, sometimes laziness. Don't let your marriage go on autopilot. Compliment them. Surprise them. Remind them they're still the one you'd swipe right on.

14. Learn to Fight (Fairly)

You're going to argue. The trick is to do it without screaming, name-calling, or referencing that one embarrassing thing they did in 2009.

15. Agree on Big Things

Kids? Finances? Moving across the country? You need to be in the same page. Don't surprise your spouse with a new dog, a new job, or a new tattoo of their face.

16. Remember Romance

Romance isn't just roses and candlelit dinners. Sometimes it's doing the dishes so they don't have to. Or sending a flirty text. Or bringing home spaghetti unannounced. 

17. Laugh With Them

Life is stressful. Laughter is a medicine. Find the silly, share the jokes, and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself (or at each other, kindly)

18. Embrace Change

You're not going to be the same page at 25, 45, and 75. Change is inevitable. Grow together, not apart. Bonus: your partner might develop new cooking skills. 

19. Express Appreciation

Never underestimate the power of a "THANK YOU." or a KISS. Or coffee in bed. Small gestures go a long way, bonus if they come with snacks.

20. Split Responsibilities

Chores, bills, errands (divide and conquer). No one wants to feel like the unpaid housekeeper. And remember: laundry counts as foreplay if you do it right. 

At the end of the day, marriage is basically a lifetime sleepover with your favorite (and sometimes most annoying) person. You’ll laugh, you’ll argue, you’ll share snacks, and occasionally you’ll want to smother them with a pillow but in the cute, non-criminal way. The secret isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up, choosing love, and keeping things fun along the way.

So, follow these tips, embrace the chaos, and remember: if you can survive assembling IKEA furniture together without filing for divorce, you’re probably doing just fine. 

© Forget About Divorce: 20 Tips For A Successful Marriage

God's Gift Wrapped in Scrubs

There are moments in life when God reminds us that we are never truly alone. Sometimes, He does this not through grand miracles, but through people — ordinary people who unexpectedly walk into our lives and leave extraordinary imprints on our hearts. 

Friendships, I believe, are one of His greatest gifts. They may come quietly, but their impact lasts a lifetime. I believe the people we meet each day are God-given gifts. Some enter our lives to stay permanently, while others come only for a season —to test us, teach us, or often to bring out the best in us. 

When I was accepted into the hospital where my husband also worked, I didn't just gain a new workplace —I gained new friendships that I now treasure deeply. 

Meeting Jhulia

I met a cute, bubbly young woman named Jhulia during our orientation. She was a newly registered nurse who had decided to begin her practice a year later, which is why our paths crossed at that exact moment. At first, I thought she was a simple person. But as the days passed, I discovered she was far more than that —she was warm, radiant, and simply beautiful inside and out.

All of my batchmates at the time were Generation Z. While I may look like I could pass as one of them (thanks to my height that often makes me look like I just came from grade school) what stood out most was not their youth, but their hearts. They were respectful, genuine, and passionate about the nursing profession. They weren't there because of pressure from parents, or because nursing was a trend, or because they liked the uniform. They were there because they wanted to serve. Their passion was evident, and I couldn't have been prouder to be part of their group. 

Among them, Jhulia became someone very close to me, especially because we worked at the same station.

Strength Beyond Measure

At first, I thought I already understood who Jhulia was. But as I spent more time with her, I realized she was even more admirable than I imagined. Beneath her cheerful nature was a strength that inspired me. Physically, emotionally, and mentally, she had the resilience of someone raised with great courage. Outwardly, she may appear to be just like any other young woman, but her maturity goes far beyond her years. What I admire most about her is her ability to truly listen. She speaks her mind with honesty and confidence, unafraid to express her thoughts. And no matter what she's going through, she maintains the same professionalism, humor, and poise at work, never allowing her challenges to affect her dedication or demeanor. 

My Dear Jhulia, 

I am so proud to have met you. You are one of the most beautiful souls I've ever known. And I'm sorry I wasn't there during moments you needed me most, but please remember this —you are stronger than you realize. God knows the desires of your heart, and He rewards every sacrifice. I know you are still healing, but you are getting there. Hold on to your faith, and remember that you are never alone. You are loved by many, including me. And you will always be Leeloi's "Tita Chicken🐔." I love you, and I know we will see each other again. 

With love, 

Ate Buj💓

Meeting Love

 

There was also another young woman who grew close to my heart —Mevee Love. At first, she was the shyest person I had ever met. During the first few weeks, we hardly spoke, and I didn't get the chance to know her well. She grew close to Jhulia first, which wasn't surprising —after all, Jhulia's bubbly personality was magnetic. 

Eventually, the three of us bonded, and I got to know the beautiful soul that Love is. She has a kindness that runs deep, and her presence is calming. One thing I will never forget about her is her Ilongga accent —it's distinct, and no matter her emotion, whether happy, sad, or upset, it always sounds the same. It's one of the many things that make her so endearing.

My Dear Love, 

I miss your hugs and your sweet voice. I am so proud of how far you've come, especially in stepping outside your comfort zone. I pray that God will always bring out the best in you. Your new look with your short hair is just beautiful —it suits you perfectly. Please know that you will always have a special place in my heart. You are someone I will cherish for the rest of my life. Thank you for always being such a genuinely kind person. And you will always be Leeloi's "Tita Pizza 🍕." I can't wait until we see each other again.

With love, 

Ate Buj💖

One Soul in Three Bodies

Bonding with Jhulia and Love has been of the greatest blessings of my life. Though their personalities are different, both of them have such big hearts and unmatched souls.

Because of them, I now have my own definition of friendship:

"A friend is a single soul dwelling in three bodies."

To both of you, my dear Jhulia and Love: distance may separate us for now, but time will bring us together again. You have left such a meaningful influence on me, on Leeloi, and even Sir Ops. Please don't forget me, because I will never forget you.

You are my God-given gifts, and I thank Him everyday for blessing me with your friendship.

With love always, 

Ate Buj.

I Thought I Was Home for Good—Until God Called Me Back

At first, everything fell beautifully into place. My husband and I rented our own space—our little sanctuary we long dreamed of. We lived simply but freely, finally able to buy groceries without checking price tags twice. It felt like a dream unfolding. But reality has a way of shaking even the most hopeful hearts.

Slowly, cracks began to show.

Fear crept in, followed by financial strain, emotional distance, and unspoken thoughts that grew louder in silence. My husband and I began drifting apart—not through fights, but through the kind of quiet disconnect that hurts even more. We stopped communicating the way we used to. We were two people living under one roof, slowly becoming strangers.

One day, we were scheduled to visit my parents—my mom’s birthday. It was a long drive. My husband was visibly tired, emotionally distant, and not himself. Still, I insisted we go. He agreed, but halfway through the ride, he asked for a moment to rest. He was exhausted. Ten minutes passed. He started the car again, wordless and heavy.

Then it happened.

A police checkpoint flagged us down. Our first traffic violation: no seatbelt. I was holding our son in front without a seatbelt—something my husband constantly reminded me about in the past. But that day, he said nothing. And I, lost in my own bubble of concern, ignored it.

They took his license.

The disappointment around me was crushing. The guilt was unbearable. Everyone scolded me. And though my husband didn’t say a word, his silence and expression told me everything: It’s your fault. Those words echoed in my head until they broke me.

The only comfort I found that day was in my father’s silent hug. In his arms, I collapsed. And in that moment, I realized the weight I was carrying—guilt, regret, fear, and shame.

Later that night, my husband held me and opened up. Finally, he shared the burden he’d been hiding. I realized then that he had been hurting too, just in a different way. And that poor communication—the kind that makes you assume the worst—can destroy even the strongest of bonds.

Fast forward to June 2024: I took my NCLEX exam, and by God’s grace, I passed. I was accepted into the same hospital where my husband worked. We felt aligned again, our dreams colliding into one shared purpose.

But happiness was layered. Beneath the surface, our finances were crumbling. Inflation spiraled. Bills piled up. And by New Year’s Day, we felt the weight of it all. No joy. No celebration. Just silence. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried like I had never cried before. I felt abandoned—even by God. I stopped praying. I stopped going to church. I was angry with Him. Why wasn’t He listening?

That night, I had a dream.

I was sitting alone on sand, wrapped in peace. No worries. No fear. Then, someone called my name. A man—about my age—held my hand, and we walked together in silence. It felt so real. I woke up sobbing. And for the first time in a long time, I prayed again. “God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t understand.”

Just when I thought we were finding our footing, life threw another blow. My husband was diagnosed with bilateral antrochoanal polyps—a mass in his nose that made it hard for him to breathe. The required procedure—an embolization—would cost over half a million pesos.

It was crushing. We sold our car. We rearranged everything. Still, it wasn’t enough.

But God showed up again—just in time. We were led to a compassionate, skilled doctor who helped us navigate a way through. My husband underwent a different treatment, one that didn’t require the massive expense. And finally, he could breathe again—literally and figuratively.

Through every trial, I found myself returning to one truth: the more I drew closer to God, the more the enemy tried to shake my foundation. But I held on.

Because I’ve learned that trials aren’t punishments—they’re preparation.

God breaks us only to rebuild us stronger.

Eventually, I returned abroad. It wasn’t the plan I envisioned years ago, but it was God’s plan all along. And today, I walk with a heart full of faith, clarity, and peace—not because my life is free from problems, but because I know who walks with me through the fire.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

— Jeremiah 29:11

To those who are weary, doubting, and questioning God in the midst of hardship—hold on. I am a living testament that He hears you. Even in your silence, even in your anger, even in your doubt.

God never left. He never will.

When Respect Is Met with Disrespect: Choosing Grace Over Bitterness

August 7, 2025. A date that won't mean anything to most people - but for me, it marks the day I chose peace over noise, boundaries over blind loyalty, and grace over retaliation. 

This isn't a story of drama or revenge. It's a story of growth. A quiet, internal decision that changed how I view friendship, respect, and forgiveness.

A Favor That Turned into a Turning Point

It started with something small. A favor. Simple to understand, simple to do, and just as simple to mend —if it ever needed mending at all. But what I didn't expect was how something so trivial could spiral into something so loud and heavy, just because of tone. 

She wasn't a family member or a lifelong friend — not even someone with deep roots in my life. We hadn't known each other long, just a couple of months, but we clicked quickly — or so I thought. 

I was working quietly at my computer when she barged in, her voice sharp, accusing, and unusually loud — demanding things I had already taken care of the previous week. Her tone cut through the walls, echoing outside our shared space. I remember sitting there, stunned not by the request, but by the disproportionate outburst that came with it. It was a minor task. A simple favor that didn't warrant such a reaction.

Raised with Respect, Even When It's Hard

My parents taught me to respect people — even when they don't deserve it. They taught me to stay calm, speak with kindness, and carry myself with composure, no matter the emotion stirring inside me. 

That day, every fiber of me wanted to respond, to defend myself. But I didn't. Not because I was weak, but because I knew strength doesn't always come with volume. 

As days passed, I kept reflecting on her reaction — not out of resentment, but from a place of disbelief. Her behavior wasn't just out of character. It was a red flag that couldn't be ignored. And the more I looked back, the more I realized those red flags were always there. Subtle signs of someone who acted differently behind closed doors than she did in front of others. 

I treated her like a sister. I was a genuine friend. But after that day, things shifted. And I knew something had to change.

Letting Go isn't Bitterness — It's Wisdom

I chose to stop talking to her. Not because I hated her. Not because I was waiting for an apology. But because I knew my peace was worth protecting. 

Does silence mean I haven't forgiven her? It's a question I wrestled with. But I came to realize that forgiveness doesn't always require conversation. I had already released the anger, already chosen grace. But reconciliation? That requires mutual effort, respect, and trust — none of which were present anymore.

As the Bible says in James 1:19-20:

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."

I could have matched her anger with my own. But I believe God was holding me steady, reminding me that sometimes, strength means walking away quietly instead of staying in chaos. 

A Final Thought: Maybe This Was the Lesson

I pray often that God makes me a better person. Maybe this was His way of answering that prayer — not by removing conflict, but by allowing it to reveal something deeper in me. We all carry a side of ourselves we hope others never see. But how we treat others — especially when emotions run high — says everything about who we are. And how we respond? That's who we choose to become. 

So no, I don't hate her. I don't wish her ill. I just chose peace — and I'm finally okay with that.  

Coming Soon

I hope it's not yet too late for me to come back to writing. It's been 6 months since my last notes about the entities. 

I have been struggling to tell you honestly for the last couple of months. From being away again. Away like leaving my comfort zone. I honestly duno what to say here but it's a good start, aye?

Soon, you'll get more of those real life horror stories. I had bunch.